DALLAS (105.3 The Fan) Leading off Today’s “Jock Itch:” Cowboys cornerback Bryan McCann was busted by Dallas cops at 3am on Saturday for public intox! (Looks like he’s not taking all of the NFL lockout stuff very well) He was taken to a Dallas detox center and released almost eight hours later. He also released a statement, saying: “I was not intoxicated and did not pose a danger to myself or others. I’m very grateful that, due to the Constitution and American’s strong and enduring belief in due process, I am presumed innocent of this public intoxication charge because I AM innocent.” Even though the league has locked out the players, they’re still subject to the conduct policy. So, if it’s determined that McCann violated said conduct policy, he’ll be punished once the lockout is over and his case is reviewed by league officials. Ah, how far he’s come from his rookie year, when he returned an interception 101 yards for a touchdown in a win over the Giants…


And in OTHER “itch” worthy news…

An NFL lockout means that it COULD cost DeMarcus Ware his “workout” bonus! A list of players was just released, containing the names of those with workout bonuses in their contracts. (Basically, these stipulate that a player must attend X percent of offseason workouts to get a bonus of X amount of dollars.) DeMarcus is the only Cowboy on the list, and he’s set to earn $500,000 bucks if he attends 90 percent of the team’s offseason workouts. But, if the NFL off season’s workout is pushed back, it means the window of opportunity of days to be able to earn just keeps getting smaller and smaller, with each day that the lockout continues. On a side note, D’Brickasaw Ferguson of the Jets has the highest workout bonus in the league, with $750,000 bucks coming his way, if he attends 85 percent of New York’s workouts…


Dallas Maverick Jason Kidd has the same problems with raising teens as you do because he’s dealing with some serious daughter drama! Media Take Out is reporting that his sweet little 17-year-old girl, Cheyenne, was photographed flashing gang signs of the “Bloods” street gang and the “Westside” sign. Come on, Jason! You’ve earned almost $175,000,000 throughout your career with the Mavs, Suns, and the Nets! I’m sure you can afford parental help!


How about some juicy Carmelo Anthony rumors? Supposedly, there was a hidden reason behind Melo getting shipped to the Knicks! A source it telling TerezOwens.com, that a big perk of his trade to New York is so he can now have more quality time with his SIDE baby by a woman in the New York area! This “side” child is reportedly 11 months old and when his THEN girlfriend (now wife) LaLa Vasquez found out about the pregnancy, she gave Melo the ultimatum: “You either marry me or I’ll give you the break up from hell!” This supposed “source” also said that it’s a known fact that Melo isn’t faithful, he’s a sweet talker, and his sex game is on point!” LaLa! Didn’t Tyra Banks teach you anything when she went on national TV and blubbered over how Chris Webber cheated on her!?!?


Here are some March Madness tidbits because I’m OBSESSED with this time of year and I’m going to force it on you too! Let’s just put it this way: if you’ve ever had that intense love for someone SO strong that it physically made your heart hurt, that’s how I feel about March Madness.

With that said, The Daily Beast did a poll of the smartest teams in the whole tourney! They considered all 68 teams and calculated the findings based on their graduation success rate, academic progress rate, and the head coach’s career academic progress rate. With these factors, they came up with a scale with 1,000 being the best and it’s no shock that Princeton University came in at THE smartest school in the whole tournament at number 1 (They had a 996 out of 1,000.) 2nd place goes to Jimmer and his BYU teammates. DUKE came in at 18. I’m HIGHLY disappointed that Texas A&M (THE AGGIES FOR GODSSAKES) came in at 34 while Texas ranked 52?!?! (The AGGIES beat the LONGHORNS in the battle of the brains!?!? What is this world coming to?!?) And poor little University of Alabama at Birmingham came in dead last on the smartest schools list at number 68. Somewhere in that state, there’s a trailer park in collective confusion as they didn’t receive the notice that the number scale in fact DOES go beyond the number 10…

To see how your school ranked, click below…


Everyone was scratching their heads at the notion of TruTV deciding to get in on the March Madness broadcast action this year (along with CBS and Company) and it definitely proved to be a royal FLOP! The A&E reality show, one by the name of, “Storage Wars” actually beat college hoops on Wednesday night! USA Today reports that the first two games that night (Texas-San Antonio/Alabama State and VCU/USC) had MISERABLE ratings; So MUCH so, that a show, based on a team of professional buyers scouring repossessed storage units at the “U Store It” in search of “hidden treasure,” beat them out in viewers!


And in your statement of the obvious for today: Market Watch is reporting that Duke is the key to TV ratings! (Um… DUH!?!) The Vice President of Nielsen Sports told Market Watch that the ACC in general (Duke specifically) is the key to getting a fat, healthy ratings boost!

He also went on to state that the sky is, in fact, up above…


If you haven’t yet watched “The Fab Five” documentary on ESPN, this is a MUST! (Order the DVD, find one of the eleventy-billion people who have it DVR-ed, do what you gotta do, but you HAVE to see this!) It’s a very compelling piece, brilliantly portraying how the Michigan “Fab Five” literally changed the face of NCAA basketball and how the effect of that simultaneously permeated into the 1990’s pop culture scene! Plus, you KNOW your documentary is legit when Ice Cube is making cameos in it and you’ve got Juwan Howard and Jalen Rose calling Grant Hill names like “B***h” and “P***y!” Anyway, with all of that said, it’s NO surprise that “The Fab Five” piece became THE highest rated documentary in the history of ESPN, with 2.7 million viewers the night it debuted… (Which, by the way, millions of men, and the women who have to see them as well, THANK YOU “FAB FIVE” for introducing the game to the longer, more—non-Jon Stocktonesque basketball shorts)


Since the Dallas Cowboys can’t sign or trade any players, they’re doing the NEXT best thing possible! They’re debuting a fashion line that pays tribute to….a winless season! It’s called, “Ninteen 60” and it’s an upscale line that celebrates the year 1960, when the Cowboys season record was an atrocious 0-11-1. (That was the year they were outscored by 192 points, losing each game by an average score of 30 to 14.) Anyway, it’s being touted as “detailed pieces for both men and women, designed for the fashion conscious male and female fan looking for MORE than just a t-shirt. It will appeal to the trendsetting fan in both the boardroom and at the tailgate.”

I understand the concept of just “owning” what you have. But, Dear team of brain stormers behind THIS “genius” idea: Please refer to the saying, “sometimes it’s just better to leave well enough alone.”


Tiger Woods has finally gotten back on the dating wagon with a supposed new girlfriend, a college co-ed with a checkered past by the name of Alyse Johnston! Her daddy is one of the head honchos at IMG (the sports agency that represents Tiger) and she’s a 22 year old little hot number, arrested on DUI suspicion last year! They’ve reportedly been dating for a few months and they were seen yachting together, where witnesses say, Tiger had a HUGE grin of twitterpation on his face just being around her. She also supposedly wants to follow in Tiger’s footsteps and become a golfer, as she’s currently training for the LPGA Tour. HELLO GOLF GAME BOOSTER RIGHT HERE!!!

Click below to see pictures of Tiger’s magic elixir…


Two weeks ago, four Auburn football players (Antonio Goodwin, Shaun Kitchens, Michael McNeil, and Dakota Mosley) were involved in an armed robbery incident at an Alabama Trailer park, prompting Coach Gene Chizik to announce all four of their permanent dismissals from the team! They’re all four facing sentences of 10 years to LIFE on their charges, after they allegedly used handguns to threaten the victims to turn over their property at the trailer park! Cell phones and a hand-held safe were stolen, but later recovered in Mosley’s car when they were stopped by cops. Coach Chizik said that he’s “extremely disappointed and embarrassed” by their actions and apologized to the victims and the Auburn family for the incident.  On a side note, on Michael McNeil’s Twitter profile, he’s listed as “the young Black Ralph Lauren” and has posted recent tweets such as, “getting money is my sport,” “I’m about the money, lots of it,” and the deeply poetic, “I need money like a pill need water.” And even though McNeil was thumping his chest, proclaiming himself as an Auburn National Champion, none of the four players were starters last season on Auburn’s national championship-winning team. McNeil is a junior safety, Mosley is a freshman tight end, and Kitchens and Goodwin are both freshmen wide receivers.

So after all of THAT mess already, NOW, pictures have surfaced of four OTHER Auburn players (Daren Bates, Onterrio McCalebb, Neiko Thorpe and Demetruce McNeal) throwing up gang signs and one player actually chomping down on a big stack of cash sticking out of his mouth!

Maybe the argument for doing background checks on NCAA players isn’t such a crazy concept after all?


Who could forget a few weeks ago when some Miami Heat players were accused of crying in the locker room after a tough loss? Now, it looks like Heat forward Chris Bosh is admitting to crying—well, sort of. He was on a radio show saying, “Any player who says they haven’t cried over basketball, they’re lying. It’s emotions. That don’t make you weak. It doesn’t make you weak as a man or as a player. That just shows how bad you want to win.” Okay, PLAYOFFS, maaaaybe, but to cry over a regular season game?

And in related news, he also likes looking at scarves and belts. No, seriously… (which probably doesn’t help his case already.)

Now that he works and lives in South Beach, the big man is a bit more fashion forward! Much like on the court, Bosh refers to D-Wade and King James when it comes to matters of fashion accessories. He says of the duo, “They have great personal style and they pay attention to detail. I’m always looking at their belts and scarves. Every game is like a fashion show.”

Wow, maybe he should have just stopped talking after the “trying to justify” crying over a game comment…


Maybe Chad Ocho Cinco should quit tweeting about having his fans meet him out at restaurants to pay for their food, or throwing out inspirational quotes, or even trying to wax ethereal on the whole situation in Libya (it’s pretty painful if you haven’t read any of it) since he’s been ordered (by a judge) to pay almost $11,800.00 to a store he owes money to! The store in question is called Amm One and it’s for a ton of expensive clothes and alligator shoes that he bought and apparently never paid for! The store owner says that they’ve given Chad AMPLE opportunity to pay and he hasn’t! Authorities supposedly tried to serve Ocho with the lawsuit TWICE but failed and he never showed up for court! When he didn’t show up the SECOND time, the Judge was just over it all and ruled in favor of the store…


Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez has remained pretty tight lipped since news of the story regarding him and his hot little 17-year-old “sleep over buddy” broke. But now, it looks like he’s rebounded with a Romanian model named Lidia Monroe! The two were spotted sucking face and having their hands all over each other at some club in LA. Mark is pretty taken by this girl, because as ANY guy smitten by his woman, he follows her on Twitter! She sometimes writes to him but then deletes her tweets (ouch!) The good news is: she’s of age!! Mark doesn’t have to worry about having to get his date a neon paper bracelet anymore when they go into clubs!

Check out his new squeeze from the link below


Jon Jones became the youngest UFC champion ever when he completely annihilated regarded light heavyweight champion Mauricio “Shogun” Rua, leaving Rua in a bloody mess over the weekend at UFC 128! But, just hours before his big demolition match, Jones ended up taking out a robber! He was on his way to meditate in front of a waterfall in northern New Jersey when he and two of his buddies spotted a guy breaking into a car and stealing some stuff! They started shouting at him, and the robber takes off, prompting Jones and company to pursue him on foot! The robber was “foot swept” by Jones and then “double-legged” and put into an arm bar position. Cops showed up and took care of the rest. And just in case you were wondering, Jones did end up finally getting to the waterfall to meditate…


Yikes! Things are apparently SO bad for the Mets organization (thank you, Bernie Madoff) that the day the ball club put single-game tickets on sale at Citi Field, the photographers and reporters actually OUTNUMBERED the number of customers in line! Just another reason it feels darn good to be a Rangers fan!


And finally…

I’m ALL for the concept of packing as much as you can with what little space you have, but this might just be a little bit drastic. A woman was arrested after she allegedly robbed a local hotel and crashed her car, but when she was brought to the station for a search, (a very THOROUGH search) her arresting officer found 54 bags of heroin, 31 empty bags used to package heroin, and 8 prescription pills, along with $51.22 in cash and change ALL stuffed in the warm confines of her CHONCH! Yes! All of the above mentioned items were stored IN HER VAGINA!! For her sake, hopefully she’s got a pretty good lawyer shoved up in there too, because she’s REALLY gonna need it!

Maybe after prison, she can get her life back together as Charlie Sheen’s intern because this woman DEFINITELY meets ALL of his criteria…


And THAT’S my “Jock Itch!”