DALLAS (105.3 THE FAN) Leading off my “Jock Itch” for Today: A group of women golf caddies at a resort in Malaysia are supposedly doing a just a tad more than the conventional carrying of the bags and washing of the balls (well, at least the carrying bags part) because they are allegedly doubling as escorts at night!

Somewhere, Tiger Woods is crying tears of joy at this one and probably trying to feverishly book practice rounds in Malaysia.

But it’s not all fun, games, and washy washies, folks! The state Immigration Department arrested 26 of these good ol’ wholesome caddies and said that the women were between 21 and 46.

46? Look at a girl tryin’ to earn her some too!

Anyway, the state department also said that the women will be investigated by the penal code for prostituting themselves.

That just writes it self!

And in OTHER “itch” worthy news…

Speaking of Tiger, I also have to address TWO things!

First, he sent out a tweet last week to make sure that you definitely know something VERY personal about him. He tweeted: “I’ve had the same loft, lie, length, shafts since I was 15 years old.”

If this is the case, Elin, I get it now.

And secondly, he apparently, he has one helluva house with one helluva….urinal??

Radar Online is reporting that he’s got a urinal and classic toilet bowl in the master bathroom, just like you’d see in a restaurant!

And check this out: Tiger can smoke ALL the cigars that his little scandalous heart desires in his specially designed wine/cigar bar complete with glass walls and casino-style ventilation system!

But, it doesn’t stop there! Tiger doesn’t have to worry about getting his feet cold in the bathroom, since the marble floors automatically heat when needed, as do his towel racks, AND instead of curtains, Tiger can darken his bedroom by regulating a dark smoke that floats between the panes of hurricane-proof windows!

Now, THAT’s high-tech pimp-enology right there!

Are you serious right now? Having THAT feature in a Tiger Woods bedroom??? www.radaronline.com

Our very own Dallas Cowboy, DeMarcus Ware was having to resort to working out in an abandoned Hummer car dealership in Grapevine!

The Dallas Morning News reported that he was working out there, because the league still hadn’t allowed players to work out in their own team training facilities.

So, DeMarcus helped build a gym on site. He said, “We’ve probably got some of the best weight-lifting equipment around the league in there, including free-motion weights which a guy donated, ropes and a device called ‘The Flipper’ which simulates a tire that you can flip! It’s a really exclusive gym. You won’t find another one like it.” www.dallasnews.com

 The New Orleans Saints ended up selecting Bama running back, Mark Ingram, in Thursday night’s first round of the 2011 NFL draft.

Well, one person wasn’t TOO keen on that: former, err, current Saints running back, Reggie Bush.

He immediately took to Twitter after seeing Mark get drafted for himself, saying, “It’s been fun in New Orleans.” www.twitter.com/reggiebush

Nat’s pitcher Livian Hernandez is the focus of a federal investigation for allegedly laundering drug money!

Livian, Livian, LIVIAN! What the hell are you doing getting caught up in that?! Although he IS a National; what else is there for him to do? Help hang up all of those “championship” banners? Maybe he got confused and thought that trading his Nats uniform to a uniform with pinstripes meant a Yankees uniform and NOT a jumpsuit…

Anyway, he’s being accused of helping convicted drug trafficker Angel Ayala Vazques, also known by, “El Buster.”

Oh Livian, such a far cry from your days as an MVP of the 1997 World Series for the Marlins… www.foxnews.com

MLB’s slowest player actually has a chance at making the record books!!

Pirates catcher, Chris Snyder, is a big man at 6’4” and 245 pounds and he’s got 2,094 plate appearances over his eight year career WITHOUT a stolen base!! That’s the FOURTH most all-time for a player without a steal and he’s moving up on the list pretty fast.

Poor Chris told the Wall Street Journal that he doesn’t want the record as baseball’s all-time slowest man!

He said, “That’s the hot topic around here, man! Everyone’s talking about how slow I am: teammates, umpires, the coaches, everybody.” He’s been reportedly begging the coaching staff for the “green light” to run and adds, “Over the years, I’ve learned when I can take an extra base and when I can’t. I can’t more times that not.”

Chris, five words, two inspirations: Benjie Molina and John Kruk.

If they could manage to waddle around and steal bases, so can you, big guy! www.wallstreetjournal.com

Air Jordan’s kids are launching an HEIR Jordan website!

Marcus and Jeffrey Jordan have plans for heir-jordan.com website, but there’s one slight little problem: it just so happens to violate the NCAA regulations because of the fact that they’re also student athletes on the Central Florida basketball team.

The site hasn’t gone up yet, but I’m sure they’ll find a way, seeing as though they probably got the genius marketing/business gene from their daddy too! www.yardbarker.com

And finally…

Here’s a story that will make you want to vomit up a worm out of jealousy.

The co-founder and chairman of Nike was visiting Oprah and said that he’s turned his company into a monster worth over $67 billion dollars ALL from just a $40 dollar logo??

Yes, the famous Nike “swoosh” emblazoned everywhere was created from a $40 dollar idea!

Phil Knight explained his story: “It was 1971, Ford had spent $2 million dollars getting a trademark. We didn’t have $2 million dollars. I went by the graphic arts department at Portland State. There was a woman there saying I don’t know how I’m gonna get enough money for the dress for prom. I said, ‘I have a job for you.’ Paid her $2 dollars an hour, and she spent 17 ½ hours. So, $35 dollars later, she came up with what is now the swoosh. Which is a pretty good bargain. It has a happy ending. In 1980, when we went public, we called her back up and gave her a few hundred shares which she’s held to this day and she’s doing okay.”

Yeah, I’m QUITE sure she has no trouble making her cell phone bill on time.  

And if you wondered, why the name, “Nike?”

It was the name of the Greek goddess of victory.

Fellas, you’re welcome… www.oprah.com

And THAT’s my “Jock Itch!”