Survey Says More Married Moms Feeling Like Single Parents

NORTH TEXAS (CBSDFW.COM) – There’s hardly a mom who’s not feeling stressed out these days. They’re overwhelmed with work, home and parenting responsibilities.

And because many of their husbands work long hours or travel a lot, they feel more like a ‘Married Single Mom.’

Amy Upton is a 28-year-old, full-time working mom in Friso. But her husband Rob is often away on business, making her feel at
times like she’s on her own.   “I can see why women have a hard time being a single mom, because it feels a lot like that.”

Her daughter Naveah is 4-years-old.  Son Ethan is 10-months-old.  “You do learn to juggle things. And it is hard and tough at first but I think you become very much in your routine and you’re just like that,” Amy said, snapping her fingers.

For the past two years, she feels like she’s been living her life in 10th gear with a frequent stress level at an 8.

In a survey of more then 12-hundred women by ForbesWoman and, a whopping 92-percent of working moms said they felt overwhelmed by it all.

“We do counseling and stuff like that to make things better and it’s not because they’re not good husbands or anything. It’s hard being on your own,” Amy said.

Two out of three women surveyed said they resented handling all the household chores alone.  “You do sometimes take it out on them because they come home and they want to relax and then you’re expecting them to help take care of the kids. You both have your reasons for being tired and wanting a break and it’s just hard. So, you do butt heads a lot,”Amy said.

Amy thinks her husband is great, and she’s grateful to have someone to share the financial responsibilities with. She thinks the economy put their family on this fast track, forcing her husband to travel more.

Amy says she’s just living as a woman in this day and age, not Superwoman.  “I don’t know if it’s Superwoman it’s more just having to survive.”

One thing that might help is a break – especially for stay-at-home moms.  97-percent of them say they could use a little time out from mommy duties.


One Comment

  1. Dena says:

    I watched this segment and felt a need to give my two cents (if it’s worth that much). Having been a single mom for 11 years, Amy is luck to have a husband that is committed to their future and bringing up their children in the best environment that is possible. I think more and more families are putting themselves in such a tight financial bind that the husband is forced to sacrifice his time away from his family to do what is necessary which leaves the wife taking up the slack at home. Maybe instead of buying a home that was affordable before kids, you buy a home that you can grow into and is cheaper so that way your husband and you can are able to take a job that doesn’t take you away from your family. It’s not the economy that put you into this situation, your family did by making the financial decisions that you did.

  2. Michael says:

    They chose that lifestyle. That was their choice. They have no one to blame but themselves. To many like those in this story, “keeping up with the Joneses” means both of you work your jobs while mom still has to raise the kids. They want the nice house, 3 cars and vacation home too. Sure, they make a lot of money but at what cost?? The kids don’t have “quality time” with their parents at all. She lives in Frisco, where homes are hella expensive but the quality of life is the same as a less expensive city like Lewisville. These are the choices you make, and the choices you make…make you.
    We all have to make sacrifices, but when will enough be enough? Stay home with your kids, even if it means a bit of a cut in pay. It’ll pay off in the long run. Keep burning the candle at both ends, however, and you won’t even make it to the end of the race. And your children deserve better than that from both of you.

    1. DDT says:

      Amen to that. If you want to be shallow enough to keep up with The Joneses, stay forever in debt purchasing things your really don’t need, etc., then don’t complain. I know a couple who agreed that one would work while the other stayed at home with the kids, so day care and strangers wouldn’t raise the children with values outside the home. It didn’t matter who, as long as one was working. They budgeted tightly, and went for it. They don’t drive brand-new cars – they bought pre-owned, they use coupons and free deals, etc., and they’re the most stress-free and happy family I’ve ever known.

    2. Jonathan says:

      UMMM buddy thats my sister and you have no idea of how much time she puts in to raiseing thoughs kids while even working a full time job. If you dont know then keep the rude and degradeing comments to your self.
      Thank you

      1. DDT says:

        Learn to spell, you white trash moron. It’s “RAISING THOSE” kids. It’s “DON’T”. It’s “DEGRADING”. It’s “YOURSELF”. Besides, there was nothing degrading or insulting about either my original comment, or Michael’s. We simply stated that trying to live at a certain level while your income does not justify that, is not the thing to keep doing. Did we call her names? No. Make fun of her? No. Get a life, a$$wipe.

  3. Allison says:

    Why so many mean comments about this topic? Have you ever thought that once you have a job and the economy crashes you have to work more not because you choose to, but because you want to keep your job or make the same amount of money? Jobs are forcing people to travel to keep their businesses afloat in a bad economy. They have to look farther for deals they would normally make locally. Sure you can switch jobs, but in a bad economy that is difficult you are happy and blessed to just have a job. Some of those moms that work were stay at home moms before and living within their means to take care of their kids. Then all the sudden deals are not being made like they used to and your pay is cut in half, if not more. No one expects that. You then do the right thing and instead of not paying on your debt the mom works or the husband works harder. That is just the way it is sometimes. Sometimes you are up and sometimes you are down. You can’t always help and control what life throws at you. To be hateful and assume something when you are not in the situation yourself is not right.

    1. Old Friend says:

      Before having children or moving into a home you should always consider what you will do in the event that the economy should change. It’s not that they are rude comments as much as stating that before putting yourself into a situation you should look at it from all angles. They shouldn’t be this young and already be facing this sort of situation. To not even be 30 yet and this kind of demand on her could have been avoided. While comparing her to “The Joneses” was uncalled for most people her age are starting their life after college and setting themselves up for their life with a family and planning for it and enjoying those first few married years together to build a strong marriage and a foundation to work on. I’m not saying that this doesn’t happen to others who are older because it does, but I think this could have been avoided to some extent for her. I also feel that the reporter should have thought about it before interviewing someone so young who lives in an area that costs so much, she was just begging for someone to stir things up. I’ve been a stay at home mom and worked full time and have a husband who travels and I have to say while it was tough we made it through it and I know Amy will too.

  4. Carol Cavazos says:

    Very insightful Allison. Just so you all know, I also spoke to a woman who runs a website for thousands of moms in the Metroplex. She definitely has a pulse on the issue and told me the same thing – the economy has put a lot of people in this fix. She and the woman in my story never spoke to each other. Plus, there was a stay-at-home mom I couldn’t get to, because of time constraints, who also told me her husband is having to work longer hours now too. These moms aren’t the only ones who are saying this. I’ve noticed the trend in stories I’ve covered the past few years. Bottom line – companies are using fewer workers who work longer hours – in order to do more with less. But the people who have jobs want to stay in them because it’s not like it’s all that easy to quit a job one day and pick another one up the next. There was something else I wanted to convey with my story – a sense of unity so people would know they’re not the only ones in that situation.

  5. Carla Anne Funk Coroy says:

    I completely understand this situation. I’ve lived as a married single mom, I have many friends who are married single moms, I’ve interviewed many more. And we have a unique situation. Yes, there are the chores, the finances, the raising of kids, etc that come into play, but the other part is dealing with having to build a marriage with one spouse that has to be gone a lot. Not only that, every time he comes home the routines, disciplines, and schedules change – sometimes so dramatically it’s almost like a different household.

    Wives like us need support to maintain and grow the marriage and our kids into a healthy place – strong marriage and confident contributing adults who have a relationship with their father. It’s difficult to raise kids who honor their dad if they rarely see him. And it’s difficult for dad to come home to kids who treat him like a stranger. But mom has to juggle all of it.

    that’s why I wrote a book about all this… my story, some teaching, and a ton of practical ideas to help mom manage the challenge and take care of herself in the midst of all of it. My book ‘Married Mom, Solo Parent’ is available for pre-order on

  6. Old Friend says:

    I went to school with Amy and in my opinion based on what I see from her and her friends on Facebook is that they seem to want too much before they’re old enough to grasp what they’re getting themselves into. I agree with the fact that working and taking care of your children with a husband who has to travel is hard. HOWEVER, the idea that you have to have more than your friends and have it before them isn’t responsible for you or your children. To have two kids before you’re even 28 and moving into a city and a home that cost that much a long hard look should have been taken about what the situation would require if the economy shouldn’t work in your favor.
    Amy is a very sweet person but I think that she may have gotten ahead of herself before reaching an age that she was mature enough to handle it. Kudos to both her and her husband for both working so hard, but it seems reality has hit and it’s time to make some tough decisions. Perhaps make some lifestyle changes that will allow you to not be stressed this much and it may help your marriage. It’s not ideal for kids so little to grow up in a household that’s so strained if they don’t have to. Good luck to Amy and to all the others who are struggling with this problem, I hope that you take some time to look at what’s really important to you so you can make the changes that are needed to make your life and marriage less stressful.

  7. Kelly Edwards says:

    Wow! How heartbreaking it is to hear people who don’t know Rob or Amy judging them and making assumptions on how they live their lives. Do you know what kind of cars they drive? Whether they rent or own their home? Whether they go on vacations or not? Seriously, how can you write negative comments when you don’t know anything about them at all?! They are very close friends of mine, and they are financially conscious and responsible people who are doing the best they can to provide for their family in a bad economy. You should bust out your bibles and read Matthew 7:1-5.

  8. Michael says:

    Who’s being hateful? Really? It’s all about choices, plain and simple. Choose the big house with the big house note then you’d better be prepared just in case the economy tanks. That’s true for everyone, and not directed solely at Rob or Amy.
    I hate that the women feel the way they do, and after seeing all the work my wife does to keep the house I fully understand why SHE feels overwhelmed sometimes..and I’m home every day.
    For me, my quality of life comes directly from the time I spend with my wife and two children. I don’t make six figures a year, but if I did it would certainly mean less time with them…and if that’s the case then you can have that job and the salary with it. No one has to share my priorities or my opinion and I applaud their(Rob and Amy’s) efforts. I just have different priorities. Like being home to watch my children grow. Some people mistakenly assume that it’s all about the “things” you provide your family.
    Here’s a bit of insight for you – kids spell love with four letters T-I-M-E, and not S-T-U-F-F.

  9. Amy Upton says:

    Wow! Never did I think in doing this segment that so many people would take this in such a way that they did. People lost site that this was not a segment to get a pity party on those in my situation, it was a segment to shed light on the fact that so many woman and men are taking on the roles of doing it all, whether it be by choice or not, and they are not alone. I am very happy and feel very blessed in my life and I am not a 28 year old feeling sorry for myself. My stress is high it times, but that is where I thrive. To not have stress makes me feel like I am not making good use of my time : ) I appreciate both the great comments and I am ok with the bad ones too. I know who I am, how I got there and I know I did nothing wrong. People can judge if they like, there are always those that will and those that do need to really look deeper within and notice that in itself is a fault they need to fix. However, I doubt those that say they are “old friends” really are as from reading their comments they know nothing about me nor would any friend of mine say such a thing. I was a stay at home mom for 3 years working only a little here and there all the way up to March and loved the time I had with them, but I missed my career that I worked hard for too. I “chose” to go back to work to a job I absolutely love, I did not have to. I think my work ethic and my time with my kids will set a great example to my kids and be something they look up to later. My kids get my undivided attention and my love, and all that do truly know me know this. We do not drive “3 cars”, we did by our cars used, I don’t get pedicures/manicures and I don’t own a single designer brand of clothing in my closet. For that matter, I don’t even have charge cards so I am not someone that lives materialistically. I do live in the Frisco/Little Elm area, but if you know Dallas area at all, you know that is where you live if you want to be close to Dallas and have an affordable nice home. (Do your research) I agree there are people out there that do not give their kids enough time and attention and make their jobs their #1 priority. However, that is not the case with us. To say that every kid in America who is in daycare is being deprived and their parents have their priorities wrong is very far from the truth in my opinion. Kids thrive off being both with their parents and with other kids. In fact, most kids I know in those situations love their daycare and are very intelligent and well-rounded because of it. Again, I just want to say thank you all for your interactions and your opinions and I wish you all the best of luck in all that you do. God Bless!

  10. linda says:

    Why is that so many will make negative comments when they do not know all the details? I think the purpose of this story was to note the increase in numbers of families where one parent works outside the home area for extended periods of time. It does not mean that the traveling spouse does not care for their family. It just means that they are doing the best they can do to put food on the table, clothes on their kids’ backs and a roof over their heads. These families are not living outside their means. I am also a married single parent for the last 11 years. My husband works in the field of utility construction where he will travel outside the state to work. His work week will consist of a 6-day work week and sometimes 10 -12 hours a day. I was able to be a stay at home for 3 ½ years before returning to my career. It is not always easy on either of us but we are doing the best we can do. It is not a pity party. We have lived in the same modest home in the Lewisville area for last 15 years. We drive older cars that are paid off. I will be lucky if we can take a family vacation this year. My husband has missed events in our kids’ lives. And we miss him not being at home every night. But with today’s technology we are able to keep in better contact than some families who see each other every day. And when we are all together we try to make the best of what little time we have together. It is a lifestyle adjustment to be a married single parent. It is not for everyone. One day we will be back under one roof. But until then, you keep doing what you are doing.

  11. Audi says:

    I understand exactly what this article was saying. My husband works long hours and travels, not because he is greedy for money and wants to spend time away from his family but because he has no other options for the time being. We have a small old house and drive used cars, I too have no designer anything in my household. I stay home and raise my little boy alone. My husband only sees him if our son stays up past his bedtime on week days. It is hard, stressful and not what I expected but I wouldn’t trade my husband in for a less intelligent model who enjoys passing judgement on strangers. I find these nasty people, hiding behind their anonymity, who freely bark in the comments section despite being ignorant of any factual data, are mentally
    challenged and we should pity their small minded attempts at self-righteousness. Very disturbing imagining these individuals reproducing and passing on their critical thinking skills.

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