Editor’s note: Greggo doesn’t want us to edit this. So we won’t.
Baltimore’s insane-lunatic/brilliant-dramatist once scribbled: “Quoth the Raven, ‘Nevermore.’
As in NEVER!
Edgar Alan Poe was surely talking about the local men with the stars on their helmets.
In the once storied genealogy that WAS the Dallas Cowboys, the scavenger birds have reigned supreme. The Baltimore Browns-Ravens are the only NFL squad the FORMALLY great Dallas Cowboys have never beaten. Not one time. Nada! Zilch! Call it what you may. But has this franchise fallen so low that we now tally “moral victories”? The Dallas gridiron gang now measures itself with “almost wins.? And moral conquests? My how things have changed.
Another member of Baltimore’s fabled, fanciful, family is Cal Ripken,Jr. He never took a day off. Always ready and reliable. So far the Cowboys’ mentality, intelligence and brains are on a seemingly endless vacation. Too many sabbaticals. Too much Craig Ranch golfing, not enough Valley Ranch sweating. The amount of pre-snap penalties, endless mistakes and often times just half-ass play is stunning. Under Jason Garrett’s watch, (which means 29 games), the team has committed a staggering 109 penalties. Not exactly squared-away readiness and performance. Brings to mind this old proverb. “If you can’t play, coach. If you can’t coach, referee. How would Princeton Jason look in a zebra suit?. His “football”, “process” and “we certainly” buzz phrases aren’t working. His vocabulary vault is approaching bankruptcy. He isn’t the only coach underwhelming Cowboy Nation. Where is the promised genius of co-offensive coordinator (that combo never works) Bill Callahan?. And it’s not like special teams Joe DeCamillis is wowing the league. All are playing a huge part in the mediocrity crew that IS the Dallas Cowboys. Preparation is pitiful. Execution (please!) is nowhere to be found. Readiness is ridiculous. They haven’t shot themselves in the foot, ’cause there are no feet. They blew those suckers off many Jerry Jones years ago.
Poe continues: “Sleep, those little slices of death; Oh how I loathe them”.
Ponder these drab digits:
*0. Number of takeaways yesterday
*1. Number of giveaways (which yesterday was one too many) *:16. Precious seconds the offense squandered by not hustling back to the line for another play.
*108. Number of yards given up on ONE kickoff return.
Want some more lunacy??
* 40:03. Cowboys time of possession.
*42. Number of rush attempts.
*227. Number of rushing yards.
No Dallas pro team (not even the long departed Texans) have amassed those totals and lost a game.
In a nutshell, thats all the starved statistics you need to know. I can’t make this stuff up. It’s real and repulsive. And it’s becoming crystal clear that this team doesn’t know how to win. There’s an art to winning in the NFL. And the Cowboys are staring at a blank canvass when it comes to victories. Their mindset is mindless. Too much talk about triumphs. Not near enough heart. Or guts. This team is comprised of mental midgets. And it starts with Tony Romo. Don’t be deceived by stats. The sum doesn’t reflect the product. By not rallying his team back to the line of scrimmage on that last play is on him. Yea, maybe the call was late from Genius Jason. But he should have had that team ready to step on the gas. Every single player in that huddle should have known after the play was over to get their rears in gear and line up. Besides, doesn’t he have radio communication with the sideline via his helmet? But as is the case of the Cowboys of the 2000’s, and most of the ’90’s, they once again failed. On a day where they were playing at a tough venue against a favored team and a chance to steal a game, they threw up their dresses and showed the nation their butt-hineys. Well, not exactly the whole nation. It was televised to only 18% of the country. Even FOX is getting fed up with the FORMER Dallas Cowboys.
Blame is implicated to most. And all are guilty. But don’t arraign kicker Dan Bailey. Or the fact they had a foreign holder. Matter of fact, don’t prosecute longsnapper LP Ladouceur either. It should have never resulted in a kick that far. It was lolly-gagging around that forced Bailey to try and match his career longest boot. The 51 yarder was no good. And neither are the Cowboys. Fall Sundays are becoming more of a madcap folly exercise. Just another sad chapter in the chronicles of the FORMER Dallas Cowboys.
Poe concludes: “Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite honor of their reality”.
Truer words have never been spoken.
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