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Spring Forward Weekend: My Top 10 CBS Contemplations

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10. Ready or not, March Madness is upon us. Liberty has already made the tournament, with a record 20 losses.

9. You know you are talented when you can entertain a packed Kessler Theater in Oak Cliff  with only two things at your disposal: A guitar and a Shiner Bock. Right, Toadies’ front man Vaden Todd Lewis?

8. C’mon America, we’re better than this. Are we really falling for the Bud commercial where the Clydesdale magically finds its way back to the guy who trained him as a colt? So, like, he just busted out of his stable or truck after the parade and started sprinting down a street – which conveniently is eerily empty – and for some reason the trainer is just standing alone in said street? Tug at our heart strings even a tad and we dissolve into gullible, naïve dolts.

7. Tiger Woods wins again. Yawn. Wake me up when he captures another major, something he hasn’t done in almost five years all the sudden.

6. Just when you thought Flo from Progressive was the most annoying female on TV, the Taco Cabana chick delivers a TKO. And, no, I don’t care that Anjelah Johnson is a former Oakland Raiders’ cheerleader and stand-up comedian. Her smarmy, cocky, fake-casual style – “Hey look, it’s a taco briefcase.” – is enough to ruin me on that restaurant forever.

5. Spent Friday night having a few drinks with Shan Shariff. Nice and leisurely until a FanFan comes up and buys us big, plastic syringes filled with Everclear-infused jello. Game-changer.

4. As I’ve said from the start of the saga 10 days ago, I think Nolan Ryan is staying with the Rangers – diluted power and all. He met with co-owners Ray Davis and Bob Simpson on Friday, returned to Surprise Saturday and delivered the world’s most useless and vague statement on Sunday. It basically read, “Dunno yet.”

3. Don’t look now but the Dallas Mavericks – buried multiple times already this year – are within three games of the 8th and final playoff spot in the West. Good news: They’ve won three in a row. Bad news: 14 of their final 20 games are against winning teams. Still, being interested on March 11 is wildly better than Team Tank.

2. Congrats to the Chicago Blackhawks on their new “streak.” Consecutive losses in regulation. Amazing.

1. Not surprising that the NBA’s Dunk of the Year occurred in a Lob Angeles Clippers’ game. But it wasn’t Blake Griffin, instead DeAndre Jordan. His catch-and-cram, one-handed throwdown over the Pistons is insanely ferocious.

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