Whitt’s End: 3.29.13

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Whether you’ve reached the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt’s End:

* The Mavericks almost went from beating the Clippers to using the clippers. But instead – on a seemingly ripe night when the Lakers lost and Omar the Barber was in the building – Dallas was humiliatingly bullied at both ends of the court by the bigger, better Pacers. Dallas has to regroup and beat the Bulls Saturday afternoon, then beat the Lakers Tuesday in L.A., or else …

* The Rangers are treading dangerously close to a PR disaster with their new tailgating rules for 2013. The biggie: No ticket, no tailgating. Last couple of years there have been families and huge groups tailgating and listening to music and generally partying in the parking lots on Opening Day, none with tickets or intentions of going into Rangers Ballpark for the game. With this new edict, you can’t even get into the parking lots without a ticket. Here’s hoping it’s not a hard-and-fast rule. If so … yikes.

* My bracket is totally and irreparably busted thanks to Miami losing. If Davidson had simply held onto the ball in the final seconds, Marquette would’ve been bounced in the 1st round. Instead, they’re now in the Elite 8. Sports is funny that way.

* Rip Jerry Jones for a lot of things, but if you’re a sports fan in the Metroplex you should bow down to his building. Arlington initially kicked in $350 million for the stadium, which eventually cost $1.3 billion. The difference? Jerry’s pockets. And what has the joint brought us? NBA All-Star Game. Big 12 Championship Game. Cotton Bowl. Super Bowl. Final Four in 2014 and, in 2015, college football’s first ever National Championship Game. In other words, thank you Jerry.

* My All-Hate NBA Team: David West, Dwyane Wade, Birdman Anderson, Kevin Garnett and Matt Barnes. Sixth Man? Lamar Odumb.

* In this space one year ago: Jason Terry openly flirting with the Heat … Cowboys openly salivating over Mark Barron … Neftali Feliz nailing down the Rangers’ 5th starter job … Don Nelson into the Basketball Hall of Fame … Trayvon Martin … Nolan Ryan predicting his team would win 95 games … I hired a personal assistant.

* Subway has 10,000 more restaurants than McDonald’s. But in 2012, the golden arches raked in $23 million more in revenue.

* New Cowboys’ safety Will Allen played against Tony Romo as a Steeler. Now he’ll play with him. “People might have doubts ‘cuz he might mess up a game. But playing against him is tough. I believe in him.”

* Hot

* Not

* Okay America, it’s safe to hate the Miami Heat again. Gotta admit, I enjoyed their 27-game winning streak. But the greatest professional winning streak in team sports – and it’s five times longer than the second-longest? The Harlem Globetrotters, who won 2,495 consecutive games over the Washington Generals from 1962-71. Sorta.

* I still think Nolan Ryan is going to remain with the Rangers. But if he’s not in Houston for Sunday’s season opener against the AL West Astros I’ll be worried. And so should you. By the way, 87-75 this year for Texas.

* Proud of Mavs fans for roundly booing Lamar Odumb at AAC Tuesday night. Now when any opponent is at the free-throw line the Mavs’ video board displays a photo of Odumb and, voila, instant boos. Genius!

* Dez Bryant never ever never guaranteed 20 touchdowns or 2,000 yards. He said it was “possible.” For how they twisted his words and stretched his story, ESPN’s Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless should be ashamed. They are everything that’s wrong with media.

* One of life’s mysteries remains how wheels that are rotating forward really fast appear to be spinning backward. Mesmerizes me every time.

* Cowboys Cheerleaders. In bikinis. You’re welcome.

* Second year in a row I’ve given up something I value for Lent as a fake Catholic. Last year I went 40-ish days without energy drinks. This year? On Sunday I’ll drink my first soda since Feb. 13. Diet Coke with lime, thanks.

* There is $26 hot dog for sale at Rangers Ballpark. No joke.

* With the signing of Victor Butler with the New Orleans Saints, the Cowboys’ 2009 draft class is totally gone. Kaput. And the catalyst: the Roy Williams trade. Ugh.

* Look what a good ol’ duel will do for ratings. NASCAR’s race in California last weekend was up 73 percent from 2012 in Dallas-Fort Worth. Tony Stewart threatening to whip the ass of Joey Logano will generate interest. As if the NRA and Bacon-Flavored Cotton Candy weren’t enough to get you out to Texas Motor Speedway on April 13.

* Cracks me up that some people actually believe in jinxes and karma and superstitions. Not buying it. Any of it. Good preparation and savvy decisions result in positive outcomes, not some hocus pokus mystical b.s. And, no, I didn’t knock on wood when I said that.

* This weekend? Tonight it’s either All-You-Can-Eat Crawfish at The Men’s Club or this guy in concert at Granada? Saturday it’s tennis in the morning, then I’m emceeing the Inaugural Mud Bug Bash in downtown Dallas. After Easter church Sunday – weather permitting – it’s time to beautify the back yard with plants and flowers and cold beer by the hot tub. Don’t be a stranger.

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