You never know what he’ll say…and that is why fans either love or hate Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones. With the latest nugget of the so-called ‘Jerry Wisdom’ that Josh Brent experienced (figuratively, I assume) toilet-paper rationing in jail that might help him appreciate the world of pro football upon his return – we looked back at the last few years of unforgettable Jerry Jones quotes.
Jerry opened the 2012 Cowboys training camp with a series of outrageous pronouncements. Jerry spoke to the media at large about wanting the franchise to return to the “glory hole’’ and of “closing the window on ‘closing the window,’ a reference to his belief that this generation of Cowboys may be running out of championship time.
In a classic bit of ‘Jerry-ese’ regarding the contracts of several coaches including Jason Garrett, Monte Kiffin and Bill Callahan, the owner said, “I think you’ve got to assume that their contract status is (their status) until we do differently. Those guys … are still under contract. There are others that are under contract. There are others that are not. The real world is since I haven’t, we haven’t, addressed this thing is whatever their contract status is, and I don’t want to get into what that status is. But whatever it is, it is.”
During a pre-draft press conference at Valley Ranch, the Dallas Cowboys big-cheese sat in the middle of the dais flanked by lieutenants Jason Garrett and Stephen Jones.
Garrett and Stephen spent their time alternating between a) solemnly answering questions while revealing very little and b) giggling at Jerry’s unique penchant for shoveling horse manure auditory at the audience while…also revealing very little.
At one point, Jerry Gibberish actually produced the phrase, “Does not appear unlikely,’’ using the sort of twisted Pretzel Logic that actually might come in handy for a team trying to keep its secrets.
When Jerry had his eyes on buying and aligning the Cowboys brand with country music hall Billy Bob’s in Fort Worth, then owner Tex Schramm had a different message.
“Tex immediately straightened me out,” said Jones. “He said, ‘Let Houston be the checkered table cloth and the sawdust floor. The Dallas Cowboys are glitz and glamour. We’re about beautiful office buildings, the city lights. Keep that in mind as you think of the style or how you project what is now the brand.’”
Minutes after the Cowboys fell to the Broncos, Jones deemed the team’s 51-48 loss a “moral victory”.
Jones clarified the next day on his weekly show with 105.3 The Fan saying “The promise of things to come was brighter when that game was finished the other day than when it started.”
During an informal press conference, the billionaire answered his ‘flip-phone’ to wish his Daughter a happy birthday:
“I wanted to give her a birthday hug (earlier) but I got all caught up in the drills,” said Jerry, who then explained why his phone is a rather archaic flip-phone.
“Hey,” he chuckled. “No butt-dialin’.”
At the finale of the 2013 season some said the Cowboys had become the posterchild for mediocrity, finishing 8-8 for a third straight season en route to losing the NFC East on the season’s final day each time.
So the question needed to be asked to the man in charge — the owner and GM who has final say on every aspect of the organization: “Are you ever embarrassed by the Cowboys?”
As honest as the question was, the answer was even more direct.
“Would you get embarrassed if you were standing in this stadium? Seriously?” said Jones. “The answer is no.”
And with that answer, every Cowboys fan confirmed his greatest fear: It’s not about performance. Jerry doesn’t measure himself against other GMs and teams by W-L records. He’s not embarrassed by the team’s failures.
It’s all about the atmosphere; it’s all about JerryWorld; it’s all about the…”show.”
At the end of the 2012 season Jones explained why he would never relinquish the Owner/GM title:
“The thing you’ve got to realize is that when you have an owner that is full-time as the owner, then you create a situation where you have as much turnover at GM as you do at the coaching level,” Jones said. “And I think that just deters from the mix.”
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