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GRANBURY (CBSDFW.COM) – It’s been nine months since Daniel Shaver was shot and killed by a Mesa, Arizona police officer in a hotel while Shaver was on a business trip.

Shaver’s widow, Laney Sweet, said she’s fighting to see her husband’s final moments on police body cam video but has not been allowed to.

Sweet said some people who have seen the video described it as awful and nightmare-inducing.  But she wants to see it.  Sweet said she hopes it will bring her peace.

“He was shot and killed, honestly just executed,” Sweet said. “He was shot in the face, the back of his head, his back, his chest and knee.”

In May, Mesa Police released edited portions of the video before and after the shooting, but a judge barred releasing the entire footage.

“He begged ‘don’t shoot me’ three times.  His last word was ‘please,” said Sweet.

Daniel Shaver

Daniel Shaver

According to the police report, Shaver was “audibly sobbing” as he was ordered to crawl towards officers.  Police have said they believed Shaver was reaching for a gun at the time.  But they found no gun on his body.  A number of people have seen the entire video.

“The county attorney told my former attorney he was having nightmares over watching it,” said Sweet.

Sweet said Officer Philip Brailsford, who was charged in the shooting and was fired, along with Brailsford’s lawyers and Brailsford’s father, who used to work for the Mesa Police Department, have seen the entire video.

“Really, everyone has except for my attorney and myself.”

It’s why Sweet’s attorney is filing an appeal with Arizona’ Supreme Court for the video’s release.  She said the last nine months have been harrowing.  Sweet and her daughters attend counseling six times a month.  She said she’s struggling with PTSD. Yet she said she’s determined to see the horrific video.

“I have to.  I have to do it for Danny,” said Sweet.  “I can’t let this fade away.  I have to fight relentlessly.”

Sweet said at one point she turned down a chance to see it because there was a condition attached:  She would not be allowed to speak to the media about it.

Sweet said she’ll head back to Arizona on Friday.

Officer Brailsford’s attorney has petitioned for another preliminary hearing, claiming the first one was unfair.

(©2016 CBS Local Media, a division of CBS Radio Inc. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.)

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