Tale of the tape
Tale Of The Tape: Carolina Panthers At Arizona Cardinals
The Panthers are coming off a huge 38-0 win over the Giants prior to their bye week. The win may have saved head coach Ron Rivera’s job.
Tale Of The Tape: New England Patriots At Cincinnati Bengals
Despite his cast of no-name receivers, Tom Brady is getting better and better each week. He is coming off an excellent performance at Atlanta, in which he completed 20-of-31 passes for 316 yards with two touchdowns.
Tale Of The Tape: Baltimore Ravens At Miami Dolphins
Joe Flacco has the arm strength and skills to dominate any game, but he is not infallible. He has the tendency to force the ball into tight windows because he believes in his arm strength and that can lead to problems.
Tale Of The Tape: New York Jets At Atlanta Falcons
Geno Smith has exceeded expectations by the numbers that he has produced. The Jets rank 16th out of the 32 teams in the NFL in passing yards per game, and nobody thought Smith would be at that level during his rookie season.
The Giants Losing To Carolina Vs. Little Mac Losing To Glass Joe In “Punch-Out”
Perhaps the most lopsided battle in video game sports is that of Little Mac vs. Glass Joe – the first fight in Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out! If done correctly, skilled players can knock the beans out of Joe in 42 seconds, flat. Unskilled players can still take him out before three rounds are up. And unskilled players who think too much would wonder – why is a French guy named “Joe”?
In any case, we here at CBS wondered, what was a more lopsided matchup (and subsequent surprising defeat): Mac vs. Joe? Or the recent Super Bowl champion New York Giants vs. the mostly hapless Carolina Panthers? Let’s go to the tape. Please note that the “winner” of each category is the more humiliating option:
One Broken Arm Later: Nate Burleson’s Pizza Vs. DiGiorno (It’s Not Delivery)
Detroit Lions’ wide receiver Nate Burleson is great at receiving both deftly thrown footballs and emergency roadside medical treatment. Recently, he crashed his car into a Jersey barrier after dropping a slice of pizza around 2:30 in the morning. Apparently there was no hooch in his system, it’s just that he was being a big ol’ bag of dum-dum lollipops. The question that we at CBS can’t help but ask: would he have been better off cooking himself a DiGiorno frozen pizza? Let’s go to the tape.