CBS 11 Header TXA 21 Header MeTV Header KRLD Header The Fan Header
NFL PRESEASON: Broncos vs. Cowboys on CBS 11 & 105.3 The Fan NOW | Score Updates | CBSDFW Sports Team Tweets | PRO FOOTBALL CHALLENGE: Your chance to win a trip to Jamaica! | Details
Regular CBS 11 Programming Seen on TXA 21 Tonight | Program Schedule

TALE OF THE TAPE

Tale Of The Tape: Colin Kaepernick Vs. Overpowered Video Game QB

We’ve all done it before. Popped in our copy of Madden and played God by designing our own all-99 player. He runs a 4.1 40-yard dash, has the accuracy of Peyton Manning, the leadership of Tom Brady, and arm of Jay Cutler, and – just for kicks – the tackling power of 2001-era Ray Lewis. So who stacks up better – a figment of your video game imagination? Or real flesh and blood video game athlete Colin Kaepernick?

Colin Kaepernick
Video Game QB
Divisional Playoffs - Green Bay Packers v San Franciso 49ers
NFL Hall of Fame quarterback Joe Montana
Rating in Madden ‘13?
80. Wait, what? 80? Come on, EA Sports. You gotta get with the program.
Winner 99, because you’re a cheater! YOU’RE A DAMN, DIRTY CHEATER!
Better Name?
While he doesn’t have an All-American superhero name like Joe Montana or Johnny Unitas, he does has a diphthong in his name, and that’s worth a few points.
Winner Well, you get to name him, so he’s probably “Flex Strongarm” or “Jack-Rage Laserpunch.” And unrealistic as those are...there’s no arguing with them.
College?
Winner While he doesn’t have an All-American superhero name like Joe Montana or Johnny Unitas, he does has a diphthong in his name, and that’s worth a few points.
Well, you get to name him, so he’s probably “Flex Strongarm” or “Jack-Rage Laserpunch.” And unrealistic as those are...there’s no arguing with them.
Most Impressive Performance?
Winner In his first playoff game Kaepernick put up 263 and 181 rushing yards, which was not only the most rushing yards a quarterback has ever gotten in a game (playoff or otherwise), but he also set a postseason rushing record for the 49ers regardless of position.
It doesn’t matter what you did in your video game. It’s not as impressive.
Upside?
Winner All indications suggest that Kaepernick should be a reliable and entertaining quarterback for a number of years, pending any unforeseen circumstances.
While your video game quarterback will provide hours of entertainment in the next calendar year, he will be a fossil by the time Madden ‘14 comes out.
Has an Awesome Pet?
Winner When Kaepernick was 10, he got a tortoise named Sammy. That tortoise is now 115 POUNDS! AWWW HOW COOL IS THAT!?
No.

The Winner Is

Divisional Playoffs - Green Bay Packers v San Franciso 49ers
Winner Colin Kaepernick
4 out of 6

The Verdict? Colin Kaepernick, 4-2! Let’s see if he can keep this mojo going in the playoffs!

MORE TALES OF THE TAPE

  1. 2014 NFL Draft 2014 NBA Draft
    Tale Of The Tape: NFL Draft vs NBA Draft

    Which of the professional sports human cattle auctions do you prefer?  We break down our take of both the NFL and NBA Draft to see which is the best.

  2. (Photo Credit: Getty Images/Richard Heathcote) (Photo Credit: Getty Images/Warren Little)
    Tale Of The Tape: Winter Olympics In Sochi Vs. FIFA World Cup In Brazil

    With both sites having their share of issues in hosting major international sporting events, we went to the tape to decide who was the worst host of 2014.

  3. (Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images) LeBron James (Photo Credit: Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: LeBron James Decision 1 Vs. Decision 2

    Let’s compare LeBron James’ first decision to leave the Cavs to his decision to opt out with the Heat.

See All Tales of the Tape