With the NHL lockout leading to the cancellation of more and more of the hockey season, the negotiations of commissioner Gary Bettman between the players union and team owners are looking less like a labor dispute with sports professionals and more like a bad date with someone your parents introduced you to. Are these contract disputes truly better or worse than your worst dating experience? Let’s take a look at the facts.
Tale of the tape
Tale Of The Tape: NHL Negotiations Vs. A Bad Date
|Locks you out of your workplace for months with security guards at the ready.||Being Stood Up||Leaves you drinking water and eating table bread at a restaurant for over an hour before letting you know they can’t make it.|
|People who look like your grandfather with way too much make-up on and nothing like someone who had ever picked up a hockey stick.||Who's Involved||Someone who looks like your grandfather with way too much make-up on and nothing like that online personal you replied to.|
|Undisclosed locations that sound like dingy basements with blood-spattered walls and one fluorescent light bulb in the middle.||Meeting Point||A self-help seminar on how to trust people again after your parents put your dog to sleep and tell you he ran away.|
|Talks about money in a way only accountants and financial analysts can understand.||Conversations||Talks about money in a way only accountants and financial analysts would, as far as they know.|
|Abruptly breaks off talks and doesn’t speak to the other party for a week.||Possible 2nd Date?||Runs crying from the restaurant and calls you up a week later to tell you, “we should do this again.”|
|More action and drama than the NHL has had as a sport in years.||Outsider Perspective||Hilarious to everyone involved except the two people on the actual date.|
The winner is
More Tales of the tape
Tale Of The Tape: Packers At Cowboys
The Packers were hoping to have Aaron Rodgers back in the lineup by Thanksgiving Day, but he has not yet fully recovered from his left shoulder injury.
Tale Of The Tape: Seattle Seahawks At New York Giants
Pete Carroll is never going to talk about it publicly, but he wants his players to get used to their surroundings in this game because he hopes to return in less than two month when the Super Bowl is contested at MetLife Stadium.
Tale Of The Tape: New England Patriots At Miami Dolphins
After a mediocre start, Tom Brady has turned his season around and has led the Patriots to three remarkable come-from-behind victories in the last three games.