Whether you’ve reached the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt’s End:
*So Jason Terry wears gold shoes to commemorate last summer’s NBA championship in Miami and promptly misses 9 of 10 shots in the Mavs’ ugly, 21-point loss to the Heat. And that ain’t the worst part. Before the game Terry – still pouting that his No. 31 won’t be retired to the AAC rafters and that Dallas hasn’t offered him a contract extension – openly flirted with the prospect of joining the hated Heat as a free agent next summer. “I’d be an asset for them,” he said. Again, is it too much to ask that Terry attempts to be an asset for the Mavericks?
*Cowboys’ head coach Jason Garrett attended Alabama’s pro day. Relevance? Last year he attended only pro day, at USC. The Cowboys took Tyron Smith. Safe bet that the Cowboys will select either Dre Kirkpatrick, Courtney Upshaw or Mark Barron in the first round.
*The Rangers set their pitching rotation and Yu Darvish is No. 4. Means his first start will be Monday, April 9 vs. Ichiro and the Mariners in Arlington. Game will be bigger in Japan than America. I was gonna complain about Texas not breaking up lefties Derek Holland (2) and Matt Harrison (3), but then I realized it’s only baseball and it’s only March. Colby Lewis (1) and Neftali Feliz (5) round out the rotation.
*Congrats to former Mavs’ coach Don Nelson for his imminent induction into the Basketball Hall of Fame. Never coached a team to the NBA Finals, but still one of the most innovative and the best. I was in Chicago when he had Bubba Wells repeatedly foul Dennis Rodman. And I was at Hooters in Dallas’ West End in June of ’98 when Nellie wrote me a note on a napkin that the Mavs were “taking the big guy” in the next night’s NBA Draft. I wrote a story in the Fort Worth Star-Telegram predicting Robert Traylor. I was right, for about 30 minutes, until Nellie traded Traylor for another big guy, Dirk Nowitzki.
*I believe Trayvon Martin was up to no good the night he was shot by George Zimmerman. I also believe, despite the video, that Zimmerman was attacked and punched by Martin and only shot the kid in self-defense. I also, of course, don’t believe that Sunday is April 1.
*My radio partner Greggo says State 3A boys’ champ Argyle can beat Baylor’s women’s team by 20 points. Aledo went 30-8, is all white, and has a tallest player at 6-5. Baylor is about to become the first college team – men or women – to finish a season 40-0 and they have 6-8 Britney Griner. I think I’ll take Baylor plus the points.
*Nolan Ryan was asked this week who, other than himself, he’d hand the ball to with his life on the line. Answer: Roy Halladay. The Rangers’ prez also predicts 95 wins this season. Good, but will that be enough to beat the Angels?
*At this point in the season, and likely forever, the Mavs cannot be competitive with the NBA’s best teams when Terry goes 1 of 10 and when Nowitzki misses his last eight shots.
*Not sure if it’s wasting money or efficient spending, but for the first time I’ve hired a personal assistant. Reason? I find myself spending all day Saturday/Sunday running errands that get shoved to back burner during the week. Dry cleaning. Car wash. Home improvements. Example: Washing machine has been acting up. On the verge of buying a new one, I turned the project over to assistant. Two days later it’s fixed and she found out the thing was recalled under warranty. Voila! I saved time and money. So, yeah, basically I’m buying time. Literally. If I use the free time to work out and be healthier and happier, it’ll be the best investment of my life.
*If you see a squirrel in your yard, kill it. You’ll thank me later. Friggin’ rodents chewed and clawed through the shingles on my roof, opening a hole that let in water during last week’s monsoon. Then, yep, the rain began leaking from my ceiling. Bastards. Rats with furry tails I tell ya.
*Don’t understand – or like – the Heat’s black uniforms. But I’ll take ‘em over Craig Sager’s pink suit any day.
*Grey truck update? Guy filled the trench in my yard with mulch, so I guess that’s an admission of guilt and a peace offering. Also, my other neighbor tells me the driver of the truck is a CIA bounty hunter. Not buying it. Those things are usually pretty covert, right?
*Praise all that his holy, there will be an Anchorman 2. If you don’t think Ron Burgundy is funny, we can end our friendship right here and now.
*Sane humans actually pay $65 to watch Wrestlemania? Pssst, it’s scripted, fake and stupid.
*NFL scouting is a huge industry. Tons of man hours and travel and pro days and time and money and mock drafts invested. Yet somehow they’re all getting fooled into thinking Texas A&M’s Ryan Tannehill can play? Riotous.
*Josh Lewin, part-time of 105.3 The Fan and the radio voice of the San Diego Chargers and New York Mets, has written a new book about your Rangers. Check out Ballgame! Good read and a great forward by Josh Hamilton.
*Attention Rangers fans, I know he was good pre-Rangers but Koji Uehara sucks. Dude gave up five homers in 18 innings last season after arriving in Texas, then three more in the playoffs. And this spring? Yep, four more in 8 innings. Sayonara.
*In case you missed it, Jerry Jones muttered the word “mistake” this week when looking back at his 2011 training camp moves along the offensive line. Jones is admitting now what we all said then, that cutting Marc Colombo and Leonard Davis and Andre Gurode might save money, but it also left the team exposed with inexperienced, undersized players like Phil Costa, Bill Nagy and Kevin Kowalski.
*Final Four predictions: Kentucky over Louisville in a war. Ohio State over Kansas. And, in the final, an upset: Buckeyes.
*How did Dirk prepare for the Heat game Wednesday night in Miami? He went to the Sony Ericsson tennis tournament to watch the compelling quarterfinal between Rafael Nadal and Jo-Wilfred Tsonga. Smart man. Dirk, by the way, is engaged to his long-time girlfriend Jessica Olsson. Smart man?
*This weekend? Today we’re at Vandergriff Honda in Arlington with tickets to Creed, Van Halen and Texas Motor Speedway and we’ll attempt to eat the Rangers’ new 2-foot, $26 hot dog at 3. Friday night it’s Arnie Spanier’s birthday at The Fan Sports Lounge. Saturday feels like a great day to get on the tennis court and then watch some Final Four. Sunday – for the second week in a row – let’s get our butt into church. Don’t be a stranger.
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