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LIVE VIDEO: Chopper 11 Over The Scene

Proposed Bill Would Create Domestic Violence Registry

By Jay Gormley, CBS 11 News

RICHARDSON (CBSDFW.COM) – Veronica Galaviz of Richardson is nine months free of the man who tried to first kill her before then taking his own life. Prior to that horrific night, Galaviz said that she spent years being verbally and then physically abused.

But a bill that has been proposed by State Representative Trey Martinez Fischer of San Antonio seeks to create a domestic violence registry, similar to the current sex offender registry. “Once you’ve been in an abusive relationship, you have some trust issues,” Galaviz said. “You always have some doubts, and this would be one way to relieve some of those doubts.”

“I think it’s a great tool, especially for someone who doesn’t have the means to do a criminal background check on a potential suitor,” Galaviz added.

If the bill (House Bill 100) is passed, any individual convicted of domestic violence at least three times would be required to register as a repeat offender. The registry would be free and open to the public, and would include names, birthdates and recent photographs of the offenders.

Jan Langbein is the executive director of Genesis Women’s Shelter in Dallas. “I’ve heard so many women over the years say, ‘Gosh, I wish I could have seen this coming,'” Langbein said. “‘There was no way for me to see this coming. I didn’t know that his past three wives were abused by him.'”

According to Langbein, abusers often woo and charm their victims at the beginning of the courtship. The proposed registry would allow woman (or men) to learn more about someone before the relationship turns bad.

But according to some critics, such a registry could violate confidentiality – not for the abuser, but for the victims. Registering an abusive husband may likely identify his ex-wives. Langbein admitted, “If you check out a domestic violence abuser on a registry, you’re pretty much outing the victim.”


One Comment

  1. Taz says:

    The abuser can also be the system and those who know how to use the system and put a record on someone. I’d like to see better tracking and reporting of the abuses occuring behind the walls of courthouses.

    1. Angel says:

      Having been a victim of domestic violence….one thing I know….those type of men are manipulators and DEFINiTELY KNOW how to use the system!!! I believe waiting for a 3 time conviction is unrealistic. After the second conviction they should be in the system!!! There are too many women DEAD because the system failed time and time again!!!T

      1. Justice says:

        Perhaps you needed to be slapped around.

        Every think of that?

      2. jedgar says:

        My wife of 26 years was abused by her first husband. Let there be no doubt in your mind, none whatsoever, that she pushes me to hit her. Were in not for our kids, I would have left years ago.

    2. Dennis Cica says:

      Sad thing is nice guys like me aren’t “bad boy” enough for women. I am sorry to say that some women seem to chase after the abusive types for reasons I cannot understand.

      1. ALYCEBGOOD says:

        You are correct Dennis, another sad reason too is I’ve seen women or young women start a fight and the guy holds her back and she begins to thrash around so she could finish beating up the guy because she thinks he is a wimp..Those guys will be accused and they will end up in jail and on this dumb pathetic registry.
        Oh and what about the police officers who beat their spouses and get away from jail time or any kind of punishment..
        Women need to stand up to them but report the bad guy before he strikes her and stop giving them another chance when it comes to court time, maybe try showing up and get out of that relationship..
        I tell the guys the same thing but they are worried their spouses will use the kids to keep them by their side, I say to them don’t worry about your kid because you will be no good to your kid Dead….
        The police really need to investigate the family and not just believe the person until they have fully check them out ..

      2. Miranda says:

        Simply being a “nice guy” isn’t going to make women trip over themselves to go out with you. You also need to posess the other qualities that she looks for, same as you look for certain qualities in whom you date. I don’t get this “She rejected me because I’m a nice guy” mentality. Did it ever occur to you that the reasons you are rejected are as varied as the people who reject you?

        Most women do not like “bad boys”. That is a myth perpetuated by guys who get rejected a lot. Women like CONFIDENT men.

    3. ruthann says:

      The article said they (the abuser) would have to be CONVICTED three times before the courts would add their name to the registry. A vindictive person could not just blatantly go adding names of people they don’t like to a registry. Although there are plenty of vindictive people out there, which is why we have abusers of all kinds. Nasty world we live in! BUT, you and other people can change that if you try to be nice first and walk away if you can’t! If you have an angry disposition, seek help from professionals. It’s not worth the problems you will have down the road.

      1. Johnjamie32 says:

        I have investigated and been called to domestic violences in upper class and lower class areas, and I can honestly say that there are a lot Men who are stuck with women who are constantly antagonizing the men and then calling the police. There are a lot of men in low class urban environments who have criminal records because of this.

        The government needs to step away from these specialized laws, and the battered spouse needs to get away from the batterer

      2. Willa says:

        John Jamie, if you are a law enforcement officer, you should resign. There is NEVER any reason to be violent against another person, no matter how “antagonistic” they are. You clearly did not learn this basic moral tenet somehow in your upbringing, and you are not safe as a police officer. You should be removed from your position.

    4. chuck says:

      You nailed that one, Taz. While there real cases of Domestic violence, there also many, many cases of men having their lives destroyed by women who game the system to abuse men.

      1. Miranda says:

        You have no idea how many reported cases of domestic violence are real and how many are false. There are no statistics whatsoever regarding this. There are, however, a lot of abusive men who whine and complain about their innocence and how their woman “gamed” the system to abuse them.

    5. Jonathan says:

      Agreed, this system is going to create more victims. Why do we as a nation desire to be owned and controlled by the state so much?

      1. winston01 says:


      2. Miranda says:

        No, abusers create victims. Lists do not.

    6. JamesRWII says:

      I bet the number of single women who used this appropriately would be less than 10% of their traffic. Like just about every gossip and soccer mom I have ever known.

  2. Edwin Tabales says:

    Many abusers are not convicted in court and the abuse continues or they move on to other victims. Waiting until someone is convicted three times will not save lives or protect anyone. The information that should be available to the public is the number of arrest for domestic violence or protective orders issued and if children were involved.

    1. Jonathan says:

      Yeah, because it is wholly appropriate to punish people for crimes they were convicted of. That is totally American!

  3. collinE says:

    I don’t know. Sounds like a pretty good idea.

    I got nervous at first, because I was almost convicted of harassment for writing a song about a girl before it was thrown out. I would have been mad to get convicted of something pretty harmless and get put on a list I had to constantly worry about the rest of my life and tarnish my name… but then I saw “three times”. That would eliminate misunderstandings like my situation.

    On the other hand, is it really necessary? You can get a $30 background check and find someone’s criminal history. And as someone mentioned, you still wouldn’t find people who weren’t convicted and managed to get away with it.

    But I wouldn’t oppose it if I saw it on a ballot. Sounds like something that could only help.

    1. will says:

      The way ‘Three Times” is usually handled in the real world is that, for instance you two have a shoving match, you shove or push her three times and that is three separate incidents. Bingo, one strike and you’re out.

      1. Miranda says:

        Did you miss the part of the article that said after three CONVICTIONS? Your comment is rubbish.

      2. Mops says:

        Do you hear yourself? PUSH OR SHOVE HER THREE TIMES. I would not want to date someone who pushed or shoved ANYONE they ever dated, and yes I would want that information to be publicly available. People who are violent against their partners do not deserve the protection of privacy.

    2. d. Paul says:

      It is absolutely Not necessary…We have laws on the books that can and and should be enforced to protect real victims… THis registry Will be abused, and people will be branded who do not deserve it…There is too much abuse of power already…We do not need more.

  4. TMink says:

    The psychological research on domestic violence is clear in stating that this is a couples problem, not an abuser problem. People who leave one abuser usually hook up with another because of what they bring to the problem. Legislation like this is well meaning, but it will not be effective because it only addresses one part of a complex problem.

    1. chris f says:

      The psychological research on you is clear, you’re an idiot. The victims of abuse seek other abusers to subconsciously rectify the extreme emotional anguish caused by the previous abuser, not because they are abusers themselves. While abuse does bring out/create Borderline personalities and “trust issues” in the victims, the overwhelming problem is clearly abusive males. While I applaud the efforts of this legislation, and hope that the kinks can be worked out, much more needs to be done. The majority of these abusers are not caught for very long periods of time, let alone three times, due to the controlling and manipulative nature of the abuse. This is a significant problem, one which directly affects 1 in 5 women in the US; that’s 60 million people (not including the effects on any children involved). It is not a glamorous issue, and one which most people would rather ignore, but more clearly needs to be done, starting with an awareness of how devastating this problem is both on the individual and on society as a whole.

      1. Jennifer Fray says:

        No, YOU are an idiot. Many of these women SEEK out men with abusive personalities. They don’t EXPECT to be beaten, but they other traits these men possess. Why do you think so many women like to date “bad boys”???

      2. chris f says:

        Jennifer, it is painfully obvious that you have no real experience with abuse. I pity the cold heart you have that would lead you to so quickly condemn the victim without knowing what you are talking about. Your callous ignorance is the reason this abuse is perpetuated as much as it is. People have an extreme misconception that abuse is when a man is nagged so much by his weak minded sig other that he can’t take it anymore and gives a rare slap or punch ‘upside the head’. The truth is that abuse is a systematic method of control and manipulation, where physical violence is merely a tool to accomplish a much more devastating goal, psychological dominance over another human being.

      3. Ruth says:

        Actually it is 1 in 3 women who are abused by their significant others.

      4. Jennifer Fray says:

        1 in 3? why not just say 1 in 2, or go all the way and say 100% percent? where do you get these fantasy statistics? Advocacy groups don’t count.

      5. KD says:

        TO Jen Fray – It is a little basic research. If it wasn’t for “advocacy groups” even basic information about DV would be unknown.

        You could take 1 day to visit with ANY local DV group or shelter that works with survivors of DV and if you could open up your mind enough – learn a world of knowledge.

      6. bogusstatisticsabound says:

        Advocacy groups may do some good, but they aren’t all good. They try to make abuse look worse than it is. Just look at the ridiculous 1/3 men are abusers statistic that Ruth is spouting. The advocacy groups only get 1/3 women are abused because they dishonestly define abuse to include things like yelling, namecalling, etc. When they report the 1/3, they don’t tell you about the nonsensical definition of abuse that they use. Many of the advocacy groups gin up the statistics to support the feminist politics and to get more money from the state.

      7. Laura Jean says:

        A pattern of yelling and namecalling are abusive behavior toward one’s spouse, and one’s children as well. They don’t rise to the level of a crime, but they are psychological abuse. I realize that half the population does those things, but they should stop it. It’s not a good way to live.

      8. bowhog says:

        To all you morons who would like to create this list. How about we also create a list of every person who puts someone on this list. Including, of course, names, birthdays and recent photographs. You people are sick. Any registry controlled by the government is unconstitutional. You want to control the problem. Make the penalty very high for an abusive conviction. Same goes for the sex offender list. If these people are convicted jail them for life. Problem solved.

      9. John Ward says:

        Wow, you have a great idea here. If the person reporting the abuser, that eventually is convicted and winds up on the list, is also put on the list as the reporter of the abuser, we could all check the list to find the serial reporters. Those repeat reporters of abuse would be rewarded by date/marriage avoidance. I believe I would even subscribe to that list.

    2. LWARRIOR521 says:

      I have to disagree with the previous posting. I was in an abusive relationship and now I’m not because my husband of 14 years is not an abuser. I do believe that the person doing the abuse comes with baggage into the relationship such as maybe they watched it in their home, it was done to them, etc. I think that a registry for abusive partners is a great idea. Usually you don’t know until it’s too late and your heart is already in it and you start believing the lies of your abuser. I think those who have experienced the abuse really know how it is.

      1. Sheri says:

        I disagree with any kind of public list. My family knows someone who was accused of domestic violence but was not guilty. If his name had been put on a public list it would have negatively affected his ability to provide for his children. His wife walked out on him eventually, left the children with him, and filed for divorce.

      2. d.Paul says:

        I understand where you are coming from, I have also been in an abusive relationship..I avoided repeating the problem by examining myself..I discovered why I was so attracted to such a person, learned the warning signs (there are sooo many) and was alert and responsible to recognize and end these relationships before I got in too deep again…I don’t think a registry will really help…Some people are simply volatile with each other, you push the wrong buttons, so to speak…and these same people have perfectly fine relationships with someone else…I do not think if fair to mark a person forever. It is both unfair and unjust.

    3. Monique says:

      It IS NOT A ‘COUPLES’ problem….. You need to learn more about this before you make rash statements like this. It is the problem of the person who is the ABUSER, NOT THE one abused. THE ABUSER will find another victim ASAP and those people need to be warned.

      1. Jennifer Fray says:

        Sometimes it IS a couples problem. Not all women fall into this category, but a good many do. Some of these abused women are also abusers in their own right. They are just never seen as a perpetrator, hence the roles of man=abuser woman=abused.

      2. Johnjamie32 says:

        He is correct. There is no all of a sudden. There are always clues prior to the domestic violence that are usually ignored (how they treat people, volatility over small issues, how they see the world).

        The police are constantly called to these addresses and the women say the same things. The reality is the women don’t leave because they are afraid of being alone, afraid of the next steps, afraid to leave material things.

        This notification system is fine, but at what point is the government doing everything? Now the taxpayers have to screen potential suitors for these women.

        You have an entire government industry based on the demonizing of a gender. The true abusers go to jail. Now we screen dates and go looking for dead beat dads after the woman has a child with someone they didn’t think to screen.

      3. mike yuma says:

        A research project conducted with 700 couples revealed some pretty interesting results. After being separated men from women, they were asked the same questions such as: If they could do it all over again would they? Do they think they could have done better as far as a more successful spouse? Almost all the men (89%), said yes they would not change a thing, and they’re perfectly happy with their mates. The women were close to the same percentage in the opposite direction, 85% said no they would not marry the same person and they believe they could have done much better. A guy comes home from work, he’s happy, takes off the shoes, grabs a refreshment, reads the paper, he’s contented. Women gets home, she wants to go out for dinner, she wants to go catch a movie or go dancing or whatever. I hate to break it to you ladies but there are more good men out there than good women.

      4. mike yuma says:

        Sounds like nothing is ever your fault, HUH? What your the only expert here, HUH? Sometimes it is a couples problem, sometimes not. Often its a problem of a third party. Relationships involve a certain amount of saying I’m sorry, but kissing (if you will). How many relationships involve people who don’t want to grow-up and raise a family and give up the childish friendships. You’d be surprised how little abuse their is when both decide its just about them, and if they decide kids someday, maybe.

    4. MontyMan says:

      I have heard the refrain many times that abused women always
      (or usually) connect with another abuser. I don’t know the stats
      on it but my wife was abused for many years before getting
      her belly full and divorcing the creep. We have now been
      married for nine wonderful years and I am not an abuser,
      nowhere near. Maybe it usually happens but I wouldn’t
      bet on the stats either way.

    5. KD says:

      To TMink – The ignorance of your post is astounding. Please consider doing a little reading before posting such nonsense.

    6. Miranda says:

      Wrong, TMink, but way to blame the victim for the abuser’s problem. From where do you get your psychological research? Could you provide links please?

  5. BeenThereDoneThat says:

    Why not three strikes and you’re out just like other violent crimes? DWI convictions get a stiffer sentence than domestic violence because women in Texas are still little more than property. What domestic violence victims REALLY need is LEGAL representation which almost NEVER happens! Why should you get beat up by someone and loose everything you own to pay a lawyer to protect you and your children? Instead these men get help from “Father’s For Equal Rights” and BUY their children in the courts continuing the cycle of control and abuse.

    1. Matt Bramanti says:

      “DWI convictions get a stiffer sentence than domestic violence because women in Texas are still little more than property. ”

      Just like men, women in Texas may vote, sue and be sued, own property and engage in business. They may be elected to office, and often are. (the Legislature is more heavily female than Congress is.)

      In short, your attempt to paint Texas as backward in its treatment of women is silly nonsense. Please cite the laws that institute the unequal treatment you’re talking about.

    2. TRINA MCKENZIE says:


  6. AlexisBrackshear says:

    This article has a tremendous bias. It seems to implicitly assume that all domestic violence is perpetrated by men. We are supposed to live in an age of enlightenment – hasn’t anyone figure out that women are domestic abusers as well?

    1. Miranda says:

      Yes, we have, which is why the article said the list was for men and WOMEN. Perhaps you are reading through bias-colored lenses?

  7. Cartooner says:

    “‘There was no way for me to see this coming. I didn’t know that his past three wives were abused by him.’”

    Duh! Someone this dumb wouldn’t have believed a registry, or could have easily bought an “explanation” why it was wrong about their “true love”. This is a costly bureaucratic intrusion with the potential to smear innocent people. You can’t fix stupid.

    1. Ruth says:

      She is not stupid. You are. An abuser will keep that information to himself and only let the other person (the one he will abuse) know what he wants her to know. He might even give reasonable excuese, like “I found her with another man.” I didn’t know about my ex’s history until I call one of his ex’s. The ABUSER is very good at hiding the truth, especially before he gets them into his clutch.

    2. Chris says:

      I work in the criminal justice system and can tell you that most batterers are very congenial and on the surface. They are master manipulators and will appear to be completely normal to the partner and everyone else until they take the mask off. Unless you have some training or have been in that type of relationship, I doublt that you would be able to simply spot an abuser. It is not stupidity that caused the batterer to commit a crime.

      There is a pattern that abusers typically will use. They rush into relationships, telling the target what they want to hear and giving the appearance of being the perfect mate. Then they begin to isolate the victim, either by literal geography or by driving wedges between the target and the outside peers. Once isolated, then the abuse begins, a steady tearing down of the self esteem and assaults. They keep the victim in check by threatenting to take the children, kill the dog or never letting the victim alone. Threats of hunting them forever or killing their parents are common.

      I have seen very brilliant people get sucked into the world of abuse. It happens gradually, not instantly. Like boiling a frog.

      1. scott says:

        I’ve been in the CJ system for 21 years, as a law enforcement officer and I can tell you most batterers who are men are NOT nice on the outside, or superficially. Most women who are, are very hard to detect, except you get hints of it when you listen to how they talk about men outside of their audience.

        Women more often assault and batter children and kill children by the way.

      2. CJ says:

        Scott, you need to GET OUT of the criminal justice system, people like you are the reason everyone is saying “the system is broken” these days. You are clearly biased, sexist, and hateful, and your purblindness is wreaking havoc on the idea of “justice.” You need to lose your job.

  8. OOTGP says:

    Why do we need a special registry to do what can be done by sorting the police data on domestic violence calls by participants to create an on-line data base of who the bad actor is as well as the violated person (just o be fair). If after the first time you have been hit you cannot determine that the relaitionship may not be a real good one to continue maybe you needed to be thumped.

    1. Ruth says:

      No person deserves to “be thumped.” Were you not taughted my your father to respect women?

      1. Ruth says:

        Sorry. Meant to say: taught by your father to respect women?

      2. Jennifer Fray says:

        Were you not taught by your mother to respect men???

      3. James says:

        Youre assuming that the abuse is done only by a man. IF this is true, then only men are violent, and women only victims who are unable to protect themselves. IF this is true, then why are we putting women in combat slots in the military? If they can’t defend themselves in a relationship in a free society, they wouldn’t in a battlefield environment.

    2. davidwr says:

      Several reasons:
      One, the current crime database doesn’t include current addresses and aliases.
      Two, you do NOT want to hurt actual victims more by stripping them of their anonymity in this way – “just to be fair” only counts in fistfights of equals, not abusive relationships.

      Also, that last line is totally out of kilter with most rational adult points of view. I highly recommend you either a) listen to some victim-impact statements and pray that it changes your mind, or b) if you still believe this is true, have consideration for victims reading this and keep your peace about it in a forum like this.

      1. P. Geniger says:

        Go castrate your self if you wish. This law would be intrusive and prone to be abused. “Keep your peace”…. You mean, shut up and don’t disagree with my point of view?

        Let me guess… you think your wisdom is all that…. wow.

  9. Slammy says:

    Yep. Get put on a list for every occasion. STOP IT WITH THE LISTS.

  10. richard says:

    I think a drug abuse registry would be helpful too.

  11. Maggnum says:

    Why not a registry for lying politicians??

    1. will says:

      They already have one. It’s the current roll call list.

    2. Jack Kennedy says:

      registry of lying politicians – democrat party

  12. Hank Warren says:

    Let’s create registries for everyone (except abusive cops/judges/lawmakers), yet another violation of our rights. Add it to the list of gov’t violations of our right:
    They violate the 1st Amendment by placing protesters in cages, banning books like “America Deceived II” and censoring the internet.
    They violate the 2nd Amendment by confiscating guns.
    They violate the 4th and 5th Amendment by molesting airline passengers.
    They violate the entire Constitution by starting undeclared wars for foreign countries.
    Impeach Obama and sweep out the Congress, except Ron Paul.
    (Last link of Banned Book):

  13. Bobo says:

    I am raising concerns about the misuse of domestic violence claim made by “victims” against spouses or partners. Emotional blackmail is frequently used by females to invoke the potentiality of domestic violence by males or provoke it outright. Some females are known to push the wrong buttons in order to provoke the males and it can lead to domestic violence. The problem is not with the men’s inability to control themselves out of anger but it is with women’s calculated or tactical efforts to push men in that wrong direction on purpose.

    That is why we are seeing more and more evidences of women making powerplay or scheming against the men in order to gain some monetary or asset advantages. There is a thing called “victimhood grievance theater”. We have laws that are so heavily against the men in favor of scheming or deceitful women.

    Google The Spearhead and find out.

    1. Ruth says:

      You are CRAZY! No woman, that is truly being abused, would try to invoke the man who is the ABUSER. The woman is walking on eggshells praying that he does not get violent. Besides, the ABUSER doesn’t really need a reason to abuse. That is why it is very hard to know what one can do in order not to be abused.I lived for years in an abusive relationship and I never knew what would be the thing that would provoke him. The problem is not the womasn but the man’s need to control and destroy. You must be an ABUSER if that is the way you feel. Are you?

      1. Adam Kostakis says:


        Google Kafka-Trapping when you’re done Googling The Spearhead.

      2. Adam Kostakis says:

        Also: did you know that making malicious or false allegations is, in itself, a form of abuse?

        The unfounded allegation you just made against Bobo might well make you an (allcaps for gravitas) ABUSER.

      3. Kratch says:

        “No woman, that is truly being abused, would try to invoke the man who is the ABUSER.”

        are you sure? the woman in the bellow case was deemed to be “abused enough” to warrant setting her free after killing her boyfriend… but the truth is, she provoked a fight with him by slapping him repeatedly across the head while he was drunk and ASLEEP.

        the problem is, people like yourself don’t truly understand the domestic abuse industry, you simply accept the idea that women are innocent victims and that’s all they ever are, and men are ALWAYS the abusers, the manipulators and the courts favoured child, and these things aren’t true.

      4. Matt says:

        People who aren’t able to be objective should have no say. Ruth has clearly demonstrated her lack of objectivity.

    2. Miranda says:

      The Spearhead is not evidence. The Spearhead is where men go to denigrate women. Please provide some actual evidence to back up your statements.

    3. CJ says:

      You idiot, “pushing the wrong buttons” does not ever, in any way, justify violence. If you think that this is the case, you deserve to be on the list. You are perpetrating a disgusting myth that allows violent people to be irresponsible.

  14. John says:

    Statistically, women are the primary abusers of children & most female on male domestic violence is not report, which skews the reports drastically. Police often times will automatically arrest the male even if the violence went both ways. A lot of women use & abuse the system to get even with men or as a means to take everything in a divorce.

    I had an ex-wife that was arrested for child abuse & found guilty of child abuse by the State. However, she almost succeeded in convincing the courts that her abuse was her only defense against my greater abuse of her. It took me 4 years to fight her accusations, simply because she was a female & the system is taylored to cater to women. There are numerous organizations out there that coach women how to use the system even if the woman is wrong. This registry is a very bad idea and I will not vote for it.

    1. Ghostsouls says:

      LOL @ John. Just make up stuff as you go along,eh. The vast majority of children abused, or sexually abused are committed by MEN according to Bureau of Justice Statistics, go look it up. You must be one of them Democrats that think if they say something long enough and enough times everyone will believe it. LMAO you are totally unbelievable and the real FACTS do not back you up.

      1. cupcake says:

        did you even read his post? He said most abuse by women is simply not reported, and thusly skews the Bureau of Justice Statistics report..

      2. Davidtoo says:

        Sorry Ghostsouls but your are entirely wrong.
        Here are the links showing women are the leading abusers aren murderers of children in US homes.

        Check your facts before popping off. This website is from the US Government.
        And why is child abuse and child murder not considered DV???
        IT absolutely is DV and should be classified as such!!!!

      3. Ruth says:

        Cupcake, you are not correct and neither is John. There are reports of women who do abuse but the majority of the time it is the MEN. He may have a case against his ex, but I can’t be sure because I hear only one side of the story. Besides the registry is not for the abuse of children, which can occur by either sex, but for spousal abuse. As for reports of abuse, you would be surprise how many women actually do not report domestic violence. Besides, there are other ways to abuse a person besides physical.

      4. John says:

        Actually you are wrong. There are numerous child abuse websites that validate what I said. Most reported domestic violence is statistically shown to be perpetrated my men, but most child abuse is perpetrated by women. And no, I’m a conservative, thank you, but I’ve also dealt with several organizations, including TX CPS, Justice for Children, the FBI, and a few others so I know the facts. I also work in law enforcement so I deal with this stuff first hand. Nearly 82% of all child abuse is perpetrated by women. What you are seeing on the DOJ website is child SEXUAL abuse, which is mostly perpetrated by men. Only 8% of all reported child abuse is sexual. Of that 82% of women child abusers, 76% is perpetrated by the mother.
        Please get your facts straight and understand the difference between the different types of abuse and the related statistics. However, based on your post, you seem like the typical ignorant liberal femenist that doesn’t understand facts so you can only call names & lie.

      5. John says:

        Ruth, I live in TX and the registry is for any domestic violence offence. In TX, domestic violence includes spousal abuse, child abuse, and can even include abuse by in-laws. This also includes all step-child/parent relationships & all ex-relationships. It even can include certain dating offenses. Please review the TX Penal Code as a reference to how domestic violence is defined and enforced in TX.

        And I understand your defense of women since you are a woman, but you also cannot deny that many times women throw a pan at a man or slap him and he in turn slaps her and she then falsely claims domestic violence. I’ve seen it many, many times in my line of work. In TX, nearly every divorce includes a restraining order against the man with the claim of abuse, but in court most of those are thrown out since no evidence exists to prove the abuse. This in itself proves that woman do know how to work the system. More proof…how many mens abuse shelters do you know of?? Yet, there are many womens’ shelters.

      6. Ruth says:

        First of all, I was saying that the registry that they are talking about is on spousal abuse not abusing children. Secondly, I said that abuse of children can occur by eigther sex. Third, I am not a “liberal femenist that doesn’t understand facts so you can only call names & lie.”. I am a woman who suffered through several years of abuse. I researched into spousal abuse and found that alot of women do not report their abusers. They are too scared to report them. It also takes several tries before a woman can completely escape their abuser. You say you work in law enforcement, as such you should know this. How many times have you gone into a Domestic Violence situation and the woman does not want to press charges? So, mayber you should reread my post. I was not calling names or lying.

      7. John says:

        Ruth, my comments were not to you, except the comment with your name at the beginning. I was not calling you a liberal; that was for ghostsouls.
        I will agree that many don’t report abuse, but most men won’t do it either.
        Another thing that I’m telling you is that the registry IS for all domestic violence under TX law, this includes child abuse and other forms of legally classified domestic violence. The registry does not only include spousal abuse.
        I also feel for you if you were truly in an abusive situation. Unfortunately, it does happen. However, I’ve also seen numerous times that during an argument a woman will get physical and the man will react physically, but only the man gets charged with domestic violence even though the woman actually started the altercation. The woman will often lie and claim self defense though and the only way to prove it is if someone like the children witnessed the fight.
        But as I stated, if a man is abused or his children are, there is very few resources to help him. Yet if a woman is abused, there are numerous resources to help her. Unfortunately, just as many women abuse the system and lie about abuse, especially in divorce situtations, as women that actually get abused.
        I believe that only men will ever be put on the registry regardless of the fact that it is now believed by the most law enforcement that woman abuse men about as much as men abuse women, but when men commit the abuse, it is usually more severe so it gets more notice. I just personally think this registry will be abused about as much as it will actually be helpful. and I won’t support it.

      8. John says:

        Ruth, one other thing I’ll let you know about. In TX, if law enforcement suspects abuse, then the officer is required to arrest the suspected offender even if the abused person does not wish to press charges. In ALL domestic violence situations, it is the state of TX that presses charges & prosecutes; not the victim. In fact, the victim has NO say in the matter. Even if the victim refuses to testify, the call-out case report and any evidence/injuries witnessed by the responding police officer is more than enough to prosecute the crime. That law has been changed for over 6 years now, which is why law enforcement is starting to understand that in many cases the abuse goes both ways.
        Also, if a protective order (not restraining order) is in place, an officer is obligated to arrest a suspected violator of the PO, even if the only evidence available is the claim made by the victim that the suspect actually violated the order. Nothing more than the accusation is required to ruin the supposed violators life, which is why PO’s are also abused all the time.

      9. Ruth says:

        John, I know that the law enforcement officers are required by law to press charges even if the victim will not. My ex threw a fit and threw a chair that hit one of my daughters while she was sleeping. He was charged by the police officer and now has a record of child endangerment on his record. He was drunk and whenever he was angry, he would throw a fit. My daughter was hurt by the chair.
        I know the abuse can go both ways. But, unfortunately I was the victim and as I later learned so were my children. He had the habit of wanting to beat them with a belt but I would not allow it. Whenever, I was not there is when he was be abusive to them. Unfortunately, they did not tell how abusive until I got us out of the situation. Why did I stay so long? One of the reasons, he threaten to kill me and the children. Finally, I had enough and took my chances.
        I went to one of those shelters you talked about in the early 90’s and all they wanted me to do was go out and get a job. There was no counseling or help in that area. In matter of fact, I got reported to CPS because I yelled at my children. I have to admit that I never hurt my children but did yell at them when they would not listen. The only reason that CPS did not take my children is beacause I had returned to my abuser.

      10. John says:

        Ruth, I feel sorry for your kids going thru the abuse. My kids also went thru it, to the point that both of my kids were hospitalized due to the abuse by their mother. As a result, I gained custody of them.
        When we divorced, after she was arrested & later found guilty of abuse by CPS, the courts would not prosecute her since she was the mother. She also originally got custody of the children. For over 4 years she abused the kids and put them in the ER on multiple occassions, but CPS would no longer go after her since the court gave her custody. Now keep in mind, my record was perfectly clean. It wasn’t until she put them into the hospital for a week each that the hospital stepped in and refused to release the kids to her. CPS was forced to get involved and I got custody. Unfortunately, the kids had to endure the abuse for many years, just because she was woman and I was a man. The court system & CPS is geared to support women & crucify men. Now my kids will have nothing to do with my ex, but she still creates problems constantly. She knows how to use the system well & I have no doubts that women like her would find a way to use this registry to retaliate against their husbands/ex-husbands. Its just the society that we live in now.

  15. Jack America says:

    This is more stupid liberal bull. The PFA is the most abused thing ever created by crooked lawyers. Woman files. one. YOU lose your house for duration. You get back after expiration house is EMPTY. Judge ALWAYS decides in favor of woman. Called “Erring in Caution”. SLIMY divorce lawyer cleans out all. Courthouse staff all gets paid.

    1. SGA says:

      The answer to this problem is to not get married any more. Face it, this is what our culture is coming to.

    2. Patty says:

      The judge does not always decide in favor of the female. My very abusive ex won the house, and everything in it, and I got nothing. I paid all the bills, since he was incapable of working. I walked away with my daughter, and I yes, I mean my daughter. She wanted nothing to do with him. The only reason I stayed so long is I wanted to wait until she was 12 years of age, so she would not have to stay with him. I would have rather taken the abuse back then, then to have to worry about her safety. So again, unless you know that the judge favors all women, don’t claim that they do.

    3. winston01 says:

      Bingo, the family law statute is so weak that if the woman says that she feels fear then that is enough for the domestic violence charge. And you wonder why there are so many men here talking about judicial bias. What Jack described is exactly what happened to me . I had never been in any kind of trouble before and i must say that it was then that i realized how corrupted our judicial and law enforcement system had become. I lost total faith in it and those who serve it. When I told a lawyer that my civil rights had been violated he got very nervous and suggested that I contact cv attorney. The city decided at that point to drop all charges and made nice. Of course the real damage had already been done. Not only does the govt want to divide up people by race and class and gender but now they are succeeding in dividing up families. For the people that need it spelled out, divide and conquer is a tactic used on enemies. Some may know the motto “United We Stand” but i fear most people today don’t and probably don’t know their constitution either.

  16. BBQBevo says:

    How about this. Grow the hell up and be responsible for your own relationships? Why not take responsiblity for your own damn life and quit bleating for idiot Democrats and the goverment to take away all the problems in your life? Hello, you’re an adult! If a thug beats you, get out. Some dumb damn list isn’t going to stop some codependant woman with insecurity and self esteem issues from repeatedly finding some moron to beat her.
    This is a slippery slope into ultimately will lead to registering all citizens for some ‘unacceptable’ behavior. Freedom doesn’t mean ‘free from risk’ You are accountable for your own life, you don’t like getting beat up, then walk out. Period.

    1. chris f says:

      BBQBrevo, I sympathise greatly with your sentiment; that independent, self-empowering mindset is a key part of rehabilitating a victim of abuse. However, it is not that simple. Nobody would put up with someone hitting them when they start a relationship with someone, not even many typical victims of abuse. But the process is insidious, emotional bonds are fostered early on by the abusers, and abuse is carefully escalated according to how strong the emotional bond is at any given time. Particularly if a woman has had any instability in her upbringing, that allowed a seed of doubt and insecurity to be planted, many women do not have the ability to choose whether or not to be in an abusive relationship. When all sense of self-worth and personal dignity is repeatedly, and violently cut out by an abuser, the victim is deprived of the strength it takes to leave an abuser. Outside influence, unfortunately, is necessary in almost every case.

      1. Monique says:

        I agree Chris. It is insidious, it is brainwashing at it’s most pure form because the brainwasher has the ultimate advantage, love and trust of a person and they know how to use this and make the one who gives them the gift of love and trust become a puppet, a victim, someone who is not the person they first started the relationship as. It is not a weakness or somehow something someone can just get out of. That is an uneducated hypothesis and unfair and only makes the problems worse. Abuse is brainwashing pure and simple and it needs to be addressed as such. People like BBQBevo only perpetuate the abuse and empower the abusers. Go learn something BBQ before you spout off with your ignorant, stupid, vapid piehole. You don’t deserve to have any voice unless you can say something worth hearing……………….

        ps. THAT kind of stuff is what abusers say to victims 24/7……………..

      2. BBQ Bevo says:

        Maybe, but not by the government. There are churches and private groups that are happy to provide shelter, counseling and even relocation. When you turn over your problems to the government to solve, you become a ward of the state. At some point, we have to draw the line and say ‘No, we are not going to become infants in government’s daycare center.’ i totally symphathize with these women’s plight – my wife is an LPC for crying out loud. Well meaning intentions by politicians destroy far more often than they help.

      3. chris f says:

        BBQBrevo, this is precisely what the government is for! You wouldn’t say that the police are merely government meddlers. Your philosophy about government is correct for most issues in society, but this is not one of them. The NGOs you mention are primarily limited to reactive assistance and limited in scope. The government has the ability to be proactive, and should be. Protecting the safety of its citizens should be one of governments primary responsibilities.

  17. CHB says:

    More and more companies are searching various data bases during pre-employment due diligence. With computers talking to computers to build reports errors could occur costing a person a job.

    I would like to see language which pays the wrongly accused person $200.00 per hour plus 150% of legal fees by the data base keeper. Many will say “NOBODY WILL BE WRONGLY ACCUSED”. If so the fine will never have to be paid since keepers of data bases never make mistakes

  18. Spanky T Smackme says:

    The problem is that the registry now creates a cruel and unusual punihment on the offender…….Once the offender has completed his or hers adjudicated punishment, they have paid thier debt to society and are free from harrassment. Thus, ANY additional requirements or public humilitation after the fact are unusual punishment and therefore uncontitutional..

    If you want

  19. Jaybeau says:

    My ex-wife mentally abused me for years! Is there going to be registry for that, too?

    1. Adam Kostakis says:

      No, of course not.

      Don’t you know that it is men who abuse women, and never the other way around?

      Sounds like you need to be schooled – and I know just the people to do it! They’ll beat that unreconstructed masculinity out of you, one way or another.

      Thinking you deserve equal rights? Ugh, how chauvinistic.

  20. cestall says:

    It will do no good. 95% of domestic abuse cases are ones where one spouse refuses to leave the other. Either that, or the “family violence” laws are used fraudulently to put someone in jail. It’s very rare that people actually separate as this law is intended.

  21. Davidtoo says:

    This will not turn out well. There are far more false DV accusations filed as a means to steal children and money prior to divorce. This is a well known tactic that is employed by attorneys.

    This sounds good on the surface, but this will devastate many innocent lives. These records are permanent. Furthermore, there are just as many if not MORE violent women than men. And DV includes mental abuse…and I know of no couple that does not have an abusive woman embedded in it.

  22. Monique says:

    Abusers have a mindset. They think differently. They have this anger and hate inside of them that unless it is healed will never go away. They need healing of the soul and then the mind and then can go on to learn how to control their anger and their bad habits and ways of reacting to others, especially those closest to them.
    Abuse is a control issue. Plain and simple. And abusers will hit when they cannot control anymore through emotional or verbal abuse. They will ALWAYS be abusive, even if you leave them. They DO NOT change if the person leaves unless they choose to change. They will continue to harrass, verbally abuse, stalk, emotionally manipulate or in the worst cases, physically harm those who leave them. ABUSERS are the problem and they HAVE to find help or they will NOT leave their victims alone, no matter how ‘healthy’ the victims become, especially when children are involved and contact cannot be broken off.

  23. Justin says:

    We are not doing this in Texas I assure you of this. I live here and trust me if there is any registry done here it’s a registry of known Progressives and everything they do and who gives them money. What laws they propose and we can all follow the money tree and know who these vial people are. That’s it. Anyone beating anyone needs to stay in jail. Not create another program. Look at child support. Have you ever look at 2 couples. They get married and divorced. Now you have 4 single people. Then them swap wives and husbands and each man pays the other wife child support. It’s a WASH!! But yet you have thousands of people working on child support enforcement and for a fee!! It’s a TAX that has hijacked a noble cause JUST LIKE THIS. This is a classic Progressive item. BAN AND ROUND UP PROGRESSIVES! You want a great program?? Fund the moving expenses of people that do not wish to obey our laws and constitution as the founds framed it. That I will support. The only thing free is a one way trip out of here to any place you can get to accept you. We’ll pay all of your expenses. I’d do that.

  24. Jim Sweet says:

    I’d support a registy for Stupid Political Ideas….like this one.

  25. Dragonfly says:


    HOW MUCH money would be spent on this ?

    Texas is suposed to have budge issues…
    but I keep reading about millions and billions
    still being spent in NEW projects… like the billions
    to be spent on an new Medicaid ID card
    while Texas lawmakers are threatening to
    cut Medicaid for the people.

    Is this state insane… or is it just me ?


  26. HarryK says:

    This is crazy. Whats next? “Jay Walking Registry”? “Spitting on the Sidewalk Registry”?

    The sex offender registry is a joke. Way too many people on the list who have no business being there. Two 17 year olds having sex. The male turns 18 before the girl. BAM! Now hes a sex offender!!! What EXACTLY constitutes “domestic violence”? Whos going to wrongfully be labeled as a criminal now?

    I could see this if our justice system utilized common sense but it doesnt. If someone is truly guilty of criminal sex offenses or criminal domestic violence why do we let them roam the streets? Those people should be locked up for good and we would have no need for the registries.

    1. Adam Kostakis says:

      “What EXACTLY constitutes “domestic violence”? Whos going to wrongfully be labeled as a criminal now?”

      That’s precisely the point, Harry – to indefinitely broaden the meaning of these terms.

      E.g. France recently passed a law which extended the definition of domestic violence to include calling your spouse nasty names.

      Those poor, poor women – who are just as strong as men – but are nevertheless left traumatized by mere words.

      1. Miranda says:

        Wow. I wasn’t nearly just as strong as my absusive ex. He could barely slap me across the face and I’d wind up in the floor. I tried to hit him back a couple of times. Guess what happened? He laughed.

        Glad to see we have so much sympathy from all you nice guys out there.

  27. AGuyFromTexas says:

    There needs to be a list for abusive people, people with STD’s, people who steal, People who have mental health issues, people who voted for George W. Bush either time, Birthers, people with bad credit, dead beat parents, gold diggers, cheaters…. or we can just take our time and get to know someone before you start bedding them. Get to know their family actually meet them. Sit down and talk with them and actually do things together before you get all committed. I don’t know maybe I’m just old fashioned.

  28. Follower says:

    Any type of registry is dangereous when they can allow sex & violence to be shown on TV, videos, video games, etc. You reap what you sow, which is making our country so low in it’s morals today. That is the reason we should get prayer & the Bible back into our schools to teach children the right way to live as they grow up. The registration will not help much & it may make it more dangereous. Help these people the right way with the Bible. Not wanting prayer & the Bible is the reason our nation is so low in it’s morals of corruption that is taking place costing us more money than necessary. The Bible tells us also of how this world will go. Our own nation is becoming more like the commustic nations more all the time. They want to control everything.

  29. Concerned Dad says:

    My ex used this as a means to try to get custody of our daughter. False accusations like that hurt everyone.

    Sad part is very little proof was needed for her to get me into court and she had actually hit me in the past when drunk.

    In the end with 1000’s of dollars spent on lawyers I retained custody of my child and fought it off but the damage was done. Everyone at my kids school knew of the accusations and things will never be the same for us.

    I actually broke up with a woman I cared about during all of this because her ex husband started attacking her for “being with an abuser”. This seems to be a tool for many women to use in child custody cases. I feel for the women that actually suffer abuse but please protect the fathers that are innocent. Its like being accused of rape. Once a accused you are branded.

    I hope they do this responsibly. The government is not real good at responsible.

    Concerned Dad

    1. Followera says:

      Concerned Father, how true you are. More men & women have been accused of things they weren’t guilty of & spent time in jail or prison because of no facts being shown. It’s going like back in the 1600s during the Salem Witch trials when young girls who didn’t like someone they would jump around claiming a person was a witch. When the authorities would question them if they were a witch, they would tie them down & put rocks on top of them. If they didn’t say they were a witch the would end up dying because of a pile of rocks being thrown on them. It’s going very simular that way today. There are many people who have been prove innocent because of fingers pointed at them & yes several of them even said yes to a crime they hadn’t done because of the fear they had of doing an enormeous amount of time in prison if they lost their case. There are many in our prisons that are totally innocent of crimes they hadn’t committed. I could kill someone & later give the gun to someone else who would be caught with the gun & would be given life in prison or the death penalty. I had the opportunity of meeting two fellows who was on death row at one time before they were proven innocent.

  30. Mike M. says:

    No I don’t see this “registry” being abused in any way, seeing as all a woman has to do is call the police to have a man arrested – even if he didn’t lay a finger on the woman.


    1. bigbiz2 says:

      You are correct.. we need to be undoing laws not making more..
      more laws…more criminals …more criminals more gov’t…more govt ..less freedom…real simple.

  31. Scott says:

    a “criminal background check on a potential suitor” is very inexpensive, there are numerous websites online that will do a check on anyone.

    Understand the intent, but not sure such a law is needed. Sounds like a waste of tax money.

    1. davidwr says:

      I did not know you could get a background check on someone without their permission. That’s nice to hear.

  32. Mr. Jackson says:

    This could be abused big time. The few abusive men that I have known, if not smart, at least they’re wily. They could turn this on the women involved and accuse the woman of abusing them.

    I think this is one of those ideas that is nice in theory, but completely unworkable and wide open for abuse in real life.

  33. Follower says:

    I know a few men & a couple of women who had been in prison & are doing a wonderful job today, better than the average citizen on the streets. I have seen some of the things they go through after they have been released also, which is sad. Most of them has a difficult time getting a job, they can have a difficult time trying to rent a place to live in also. Society reaps what they sow. I have had the opportunity of working with some of them to encourage them when it’s difficult for them. Very few people in society has any care for them, then they wonder why so many ends up back into crime.

  34. Roger Knight says:

    Here in the state of Washington we have
    You can find out if your new date has been a party to litigation and get a list of cause numbers. If your girl is named Debbie Smith you might have to sort out which ones are your Debbie Smith from the other Debbie Smiths. If her name is unusual, then it should be easier. Then you can go to the courthouse and look up the individual files.
    Thus you can find out if she is the petitioner or respondent in protection order cases.
    If you wish to avoid your life becoming a soap opera, avoid those who are petitioners or respondents in protection order cases. A petitioner is either lying or admitting she made her significant other angry enough to resort to violence. You don’t need either.

  35. despotinwaiting says:

    This is an initiative that could reward a vindictive spouse/partner based on manufactured “evidence”, and opens the door to more government intrusiveness into our lives and to expanded assaults on Second Amendment rights.

  36. Greg Walden says:

    Soon the government will have us all registering with them….Registration is the first step to tyranny. First they get sex offenders, now they want domestic violence registries…..How many other categories must the government register? Hmmm….Political opponents?

    Registration is NEVER a good idea regardless of what politicians tell you. It is totally against what this nation is founded upon which is FREEDOM. Once a criminal finishes their sentences for whatever crime, then they go back to being a citizen free as anyone else that is free.

    For folks that say they need this to tell if a guy/gal is an abuser, then what about this alternative…Don’t rush into relationships with folks you don’t know. Take your time and use your noggin to know who the person is. You set standards for what you want in a partner and never for one time deviate. A person who is an abuser cannot hold the facade forever and you’ll eventually see those traits and then you can dump them before you get entangled in an abusive relationship.

  37. Sdharms says:

    I agree with Greg. Easy enough to trump up charges of “domestic abuse” or any other thing. Register us all. It will make us easier to control.

  38. Odgred Weary says:

    I am in favor of setting up a registry that exclusively lists politicians who want to expand the number of registries already in existence, and force them to report twice a week to local law enforcement to update their status. Including fingerprinting. It’s for the children, donchaknow.

    I would also automaticaly rule unconstitutional any law named after a dead child or other murder victim. They’re NEVER meant to “help” and they’re ALWAYS meant to get the name of the politician sponsoring the legislation on the evening news.

    Eventually it is going to be a felony to pass gas in public–simply because they’ve run out of other acts that they can ‘felonize.’

    These politicians are NOT your friends.

  39. Denis says:

    National Family Violence Legislative Resource Center Policy Statement on Family Violence

    “Reports from the WHO (Archer, 2006) also make it clear than in many countries around the world, particularly where women have little political or socioeconomic power, women represent the much larger share of IPV victims. However, the most reliable population of surveys indicate that in Western industrialized democracies such as the United States and Canada, where they enjoy higher status, women engage in physical aggression at rates comparable to men (Archer, 2000; Fiebert, 2004; Straus & Gelles, 1990) and are as likely or more likely to be the initiators (DeMaris, 1992; Morse, 1995; Dutton et al., 1999; Straus, 1993; Williams & Frieze, 2005).”

    “Shernock’s (2005) analysis of over 2000 IPV incidents in Vermont revealed that men were categorized as perpetrators 3.2 times more often than women on the initial police report, but subsequently arrested 9 times as often. At issue is the extent to which this pattern of gender bias reflects flawed “dominant aggressor” guidelines and assumptions about IPV based on discredited sociopolitical theories of patriarchy”

    “Victimized males do not have access to services because of the assumption that they are only minimally impacted by IPV, if at all. This assumption, however, runs contrary to an overwhelming body of research evidence. A significant minority of IPV-related physical injuries, between 25% and 43%, are incurred by men (Archer, 2000; Laroch, in preparation; Mirrlees-Black, 1999; Straus, 2004; Tjaden & Thoennes, 2000), and men are the victims in nearly a quarter of intimate homicides (Rennison, 2003)”

    1. Miranda says:

      US Dept. of Justice

      “The National Family Violence Survey (NFVS) found nearly equal rates of assault (11–12 percent) by an intimate partner among both men and women. If so-called “minor” violence such as pushing and shoving is excluded, the rate is around 3 percent — more than twice the rate found in NVAWS.

      NIJ researchers have found, however, that collecting various types of counts from men and women does not yield an accurate understanding of battering and serious injury occurring from intimate partner violence. National surveys supported by NIJ, CDC, and BJS that examine more serious assaults do not support the conclusion of similar rates of male and female spousal assaults. These surveys are conducted within a safety or crime context and clearly find more partner abuse by men against women.

      For example, NVAWS found that women are significantly more likely than men to report being victims of intimate partner violence whether it is rape, physical assault, or stalking and whether the timeframe is the person’s lifetime or the previous 12 months. NCVS found that about 85 percent of victimizations by intimate partners in 1998 were against women.

      The studies that find that women abuse men equally or even more than men abuse women are based on data compiled through the Conflict Tactics Scale (CTS), a survey tool developed in the 1970s. CTS may not be appropriate for intimate partner violence research because it does not measure control, coercion, or the motives for conflict tactics; it also leaves out sexual assault and violence by ex-spouses or partners and does not determine who initiated the violence.

      A review of the research found that violence is instrumental in maintaining control and that more than 90 percent of “systematic, persistent, and injurious” violence is perpetrated by men. [8] BJS reports that 30 percent of female homicide victims are murdered by their intimate partners compared with 5 percent of male homicide victims, and that 22 percent of victims of nonfatal intimate partner violence are female but only 3 percent are male. [9] Researchers that use city- and State-generated databases for analysis, however, attribute 40–50 percent of female homicides to intimate partners. This discrepancy likely results from omission of ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends from the Federal Supplementary Homicide Reports that are used by BJS. Ex-boyfriends account for up to 11 percent of intimate partner homicides committed by men, and ex-girlfriends account for up to 3 percent of intimate partner homicides committed by women.”

  40. been there says:

    i was a male victim of this type of abuse and my ex-wife new very well how to manipulate the system. she was also abusive to her previous spouse as i later found out after talkign with him. she would always say she was bi-polar blah blah blah or she had a hard day. once the police believed her instead of me and i ended up staying in jail for a week while they photographed her every day for bruising. when no bruises developed yet i had them while in jail, they dropped charges against me and filed on her. needless to say we split up right after and i dont talk to her anymore.

  41. Annonymous says:

    Let me just start by saying I am all for protecting women from physically abusive men. With that said most people don’t realize how easy it is for a person to get a DV charge when there was no VIOLENCE ever commited toward the other person. I know first hand the simplicity of how the system targets people (mostly men) to make them out to be this horrible person even though no violence ever took place. If a person (mainly women) feel at all frightened by the other, no matter if its just a shouting match or whatever else that is not physical and the police are called someone it going to jail (more times than not the man) and guess what they get charged and the system picks up the case. Even though the police were called mainly to defuse the heated arguement or what have you. Or a passer by hears the arguement and calls.

  42. bigbiz2 says:

    We already have more people in prison than the world combined also 12% unemployment rate..lets go for a record that cant be “beat” …oh sorry

  43. Stan says:

    Domestic Violence of all types is not just male on female. It’s about 50/50 on actual physical violence. As in female on male. Such lists could be used vindictively by people too, to get back at someone or something. Even if no violence took place.

  44. Ray2447 says:

    Deaths of little children, killed by their mothers is egregious, yet the taxpayer funded, domestic violence industry disingenuously tries to make us believe that women don’t abuse men too. According to the U.S. Dept of Health and Human Services and DOJ statistics, more kids are killed by neglect and abuse in a year (1,760 in 2007), than all the female intimate partner homicides in a year. Mothers are the single largest group of kid killers, according to HHS, and they have a rate twice that of fathers. Nowhere near the money is spent to protect kids from kid killing mothers as is spent by the domestic violence industry to protect women. The taxpayer funded d.v. industry is a bastion of misandrist vilification, falsely accusing men of being the overwhelming cause of d.v., and empowering violent women to commit further domestic violence. The corruption of the taxpayer funded, domestic violence industry is characterized in “Los Misandry” at Youtube.

  45. Ray2447 says:

    Women’s domestic violence against men is grossly under reported, while male victims are still routinely being ignored by the taxpayer funded domestic violence industry. Credible research overwhelmingly shows that the ratio of domestic violence is at least 50/50 between women & men. Go to Fiebert Bibliography. According to one study by researchers who work at the CDC, in 70 percent of domestic violence incidents, where the d.v. is not mutual, it’s women who initiate the d. v. Go to Respecting Accuracy in Domestic Abuse Reporting. Click on the link under the red & blue pie chart. D.v. law follows a gender feminist agenda over facts & does great harm to many innocent men & also many violent women. Go to Youtube, “Los Misandry.”

    1. Miranda says:

      “Go to Fiebert Bibliography”
      I wonder why there are no links to any of the actual surveys. I do not consider this credible evidence for anything without a way for Mr. Fiebert to provide access to the surveys so that we can verify the accuracy of each survey.

      “D.v. law follows a gender feminist agenda over facts”
      The women who call the police for relief from a battering spouse don’t give a rat’s behind about some stupid feminist agenda. The facts regarding DV are clear: Women experience it at a far greater rate than men. See:

      Want to counter this with the same old claim that police reports aren’t accurate because men don’t report DV? Give some factual evidence. Otherwise that claim does not hold water.

      “According to one study by researchers who work at the CDC, in 70 percent of domestic violence incidents, where the d.v. is not mutual, it’s women who initiate the d. v. Go to Respecting Accuracy in Domestic Abuse Reporting”
      Who conducted these studies? Was it a telephone survey? Who were the respondents that were questioned? What were the questions asked? What way do we have of knowing that the respondents didn’t give false information? (Were the men and women asked “Have you ever hit your partner” or “Has your partner ever hit you”? These things matter because they are just a few of many that greatly affect the outcome of such surveys.

      “Go to Youtube, “Los Misandry.”
      “Misandry” is a MR buzzword. No Men’s Right activist has any credibility, because the whole aim of the Men’s Rights movement is to repeal feminism and put women back into the kitchen.

  46. Ray2447 says:

    Domestic violence will never end as long as the whole truth about it is misrepresented to comply with feminist ideology. V.P. Biden recently called violence against women, “the very worst abuse.” The very worst abuse is valuing one life less than another for having been born the wrong gender. Under domestic violence law, the wrong gender is men. Shelter and services are virtually non-existent for male victims of domestic violence. Options out of a bad relationship, that women have, are often not available to men. Men wind up gender profiled and falsely accused by the taxpayer funded, domestic violence industry, because of gender feminist ideology controlling the d.v. industry. Men are often battered by domestic violence, and then battered again by the taxpayer funded, domestic violence industry as shown in “Los Misandry” at Youtube.

    1. Miranda says:

      Maybe you should take the concerns up with the fellow members of your gender, as they are the ones causing this by being the ones who, in the vast majority of cases, are violent and controlling with the women in their lives.

  47. Pat says:

    I suspected my ex wife of cheating so I calmly confronted her and presented my reasoning behind the suspicion. She picked up her cell and called 911 and cooked up this crazy story. I thank my lucky stars that the maintenance man was in the next room or else I wouldve been prosecuted just on her say so. I just sat on the couch and waited on the cops and my witness said he didn’t even know anything was going on. She could’ve destroyed my life, taken my son, had me incarcerated, possibly lost a $100k/yr job, and I would never be able to own a gun. All because I questioned her faithfulness.

  48. Tom56Buffalo says:

    In a Utopian world it might be a good idea, but their are already those with ulterior motives supporting this proposed law. I n NY State they have such a registry and all it takes is a complaint to be placed in it. Even if the complaint is never proven, you cannot have your name removed from it. Getting this info on someone is easy.

    Also two Democrats have already said it might be a way to move toward disarming the public………… So much for this idea. Also what about those men who are “abused” by women. As a police officer I have seen dozens of such cases as well. Stabbing your husband in his sleep is “abuse,” but if the same were done to a wife, it’s called attempted murder!

  49. hmmm says:

    Not much longer and we will all be on a ‘list’….

  50. Jay says:

    I wonder how many women will be on this list?

    I made a police report a few years about an ex, she had been making death threats after I had a restraining order issued and had also a police report of her punching me… When the police arrived they found it funny that I was reporting a woman. I said if I had done the same I would be in jail….. It does sound funny but I am tired of sexism and double standards.

    1. Miranda says:

      Did you have proof of these death threats, Jay? I once reported to the police that my then husband had woken me up in the middle of the night, nose-to-nose with me, holding a pillow and threatening to smother me and bury me in the backyard with the dog. I had no evidence. They did nothing. I was upset too.

      Once while we were in court after one of his abusive episodes, when he was allowed to tell his side of the story, he went on a tangent about a time that he and I had had sex. The (male) judge (who is notorious for letting abusers off scott free) sat there with a disgusting grin on his face while my ex described in detail about my sexuality. The other inmates enjoyed it as well. My ex was then allowed to go home.

      Another time I had a (male) judge tell me that I deserved to be knocked around and terrorized for simply not having enough sense to leave when I saw him getting “angry”.

      I have two close friends who are currently going through the same thing. They men in the justice system seem to be allowing the men in their homes to get away with murder.

      So…..I sure do know what you mean about sexism and double standards. I hate it as well.

  51. Yes says:

    Go go stalingrad justice. Lets get a registry for speeders- how many do they kill, lets get one for tax evaders and those who use profanity- or those who speak out against our mayors and governors. We could eliminate the cost of prisons, by moving to a registry system, we could forever track those convicted of anything! We can punish them all for the rest of their lives- removing the simplest reason to be or get better.
    Lets take their family names down too- crime is genetic isn’t it? lets put their families on the list- we can blacklist all wouldbe criminals better that way- deterring any violence or crime in the future! YES WE CAN!

    1. uh-hugh says:

      Yes – you are spot on! Drunk drivers are disgusting people. They should be hemmed up too! I also hate the stories about border crimes, perhaps we should use this registry system instead of a fence. We have great do not fly lists, although heaven forbid someone has the same name as someone else… our allies in the middle east might torture them or something… but some sacrafice is required for the good of all! Not to sound Marxist or anything… Even the “sex offender” killed in Canada by an american- who intentionally sought to kill registered people, he had married his wife of two or three children at age 15 or something – after being caught (both underage) in a car doing something naughty… Yes all you brazen people we must sacrifice- liberty for safety; freedom for security. … WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE for those who qualify.

      1. Right says:

        William Elliott, was listed because he’d slept with his girlfriend before she turned 16.
        This one? Many have been murdered, so it is hard to tell. I’d expect in a government cost savings improvement they’d just merge all the registries in the future; one crime would be classified by code 1L and another crime by code 1K and an underpaid typist entering the data somewhere would hit the wrong key, placing a habitual smoker of marijuana on a dady raper listing, like Arlo Guthrie’s old tune- or a fly would intercede like in the movie BRAZIL !!!

  52. Keep Going says: A man gave a woman a hickey, resulting in her being paralyzed – PUT HIM ON BOTH LISTS!!!! Sex offender and domestic violence.

  53. QuestionEverything says:

    My wife and I were living quietly in Virginia… We weren’t married, co habitating, which is against the law- and would require registering… forget the classification, we were both in our 20’s. I think we are ok… never know now a days… does it get enforced now adays? We were quiet because a daycare worker had lost her daycare provider liscense because she had been living with her un-married lover for many years. ACLU couldn’t even help 😉
    Why is it amaerica was founded on punishing a criminal, and once they pay their price (determined by law as established by the people) they are free again?

  54. John White says:

    It seems the thing to do. Make a law to outlaw something already unlawful. To be sure, this law will be equally as effective, or ineffective, as restraining orders.

    A woman, or a man, who beocmes enamored with an abusive “sweet talker”, without first knowing them, is simply a fool motivated by either lust or wishful thinking.

    No one, male or female, should commit to another without the approval of family and friends. Family and friends always know more about you than you know about yourself.

    After three times? After two times? Is there a simple pattern here? My wife and I have been married for 42 years. In our lifetimes we have counseled husbands and wives. Invariably, the common thread we see is this: when the couple has complete approval and affirmation of family on BOTH SIDES, and agreement by close friends on BOTH SIDES, the marriage will succeed.

    Instead of “registry”, I propose a “pre-marital compatibility test” that requires approval of the aforementioned parties.

  55. Glen Mcbeth says:

    One problem with domestic abuse accusations these days is that everything is black and white, and the penalties are so harsh.

    Example: My neighbor has a wife who is extremely abusive and degrading and threatening sometimes, verbally, and hyper jealous. I hear her shouting from next door, sometimes.

    They have three kids.

    A few months ago, she accused her 30 year old husband of cheating with the 60 year old lady across the street, and a long fight ensued, and she demanded to see his cell phone so that she could read the call records.

    He threw the phone at her, hit her in the leg. No damage done to her or even the phone. She called the police on him, he was arrested, admitted at the time that he had thrown the phone at her and hit her with it.

    I saw court records and they jibe with the account above.

    Its his only arrest, but it resulted in two nights in jail and a lost job and the family with 3 little girls is about to become homeless.

    I feel sorry for the whole lot of them.

    1. Miranda says:

      You really have no idea what is going on inside that house. You only know what you see and hear. Interesting for you to take the side of the man.

  56. Snod says:

    This whole thing stinks! Any assault should be a crime but just because you are at home. Hate crime laws and these domestic violence laws must be removed from the books. Why are we making a special class of people? Murder, rape and assault are the same no matter who the victim is if they are an adult! We keep adding unnecessary layers to our legal system that assist no one.

  57. BRH says:

    This proposal is far too incomplete. There is no mention of any counseling , either voluntary or court ordered, prior to being placed on this registry.Nor is there any mention of any way to be removed from it. Public figures and officials stand to be most impacted by such of a law.

  58. r says:

    I agree that bright people can fall prey to an abuser. Most simply are not aware of how to spot personality disorders. Rather than another layer bureaucracy by registry perhaps public awareness/education. There are rather good educational programs now K-12 regarding bullying. These bully’s are perhaps future abusers. The more general awareness and education regarding personality disorders we have the better chance of reducing the problem. As always, we have to refuse to be victims of any type, and learning about these predators will help.

  59. Glen Mcbeth says:

    Yes, this does stink!

  60. Fred C. Dobbs says:

    A woman should shut up and stay in the kitchen cookin’ natural food for her natural man.

  61. jasz says:

    does anyone feel there constitutional rights be stripped away bit by bit. it started with sex offender registry. it was supposed to just convicted sex offenders then modified later to include public nudity (no skinny dipping, then another modification peeing in public. bit by bit people. as soon as someone kills someone who has one conviction they will drop the three strikes. what will the next registry be to protect the people, drunk driving or maybe parking tickets. these registries do nothing to protect anyone but they do give the government more power which is exatly what they want.

  62. Ray2447 says:

    America has the highest rate of incarceration in the world. We’ve passed Russia. It’s ludicrous to still call America “the land of the free” with yet another government registry to track citizens. Domestic violence will never end as long as the whole truth about it is misrepresented to comply with feminist ideology. Filing a false accusation of domestic violence is a crime as well as an act of domestic violence, yet false accusers are almost never prosecuted. False accusations of domestic violence against men are so common it’s become a racket . The taxpayer funded d.v. industry not only knows about all the false accusations against men, they encourage them and in fact script them for women. The taxpayer funded d.v. industry works their racket in circle of fraud: to get more money, to arrest more men, to get more statistics, to get more money… The feminist trained, taxpayer funded, d.v. industry, (including law enforcement, prosecutors, and the judiciary) is far too corrupt to be entrusted to maintain any honest registry of d.v. abusers. America’s legal system doesn’t need another layer of Stalinism as shown in “Los Misandry” at Youtube

  63. Hadenough says:

    How about a registry for all woman who give birth to crack-babies. What form abuse is worse than destroying an unborn child and then brining it into this world to deal with the fallout.

    Wait…what’s that I hear from the feminists…silence?

  64. GodHelpAmerika says:

    Who needs Communism, Socialism or Fascism to take away our freedoms? Now, we have the Progressive, working hand-in-hand with Feminism to define the new Victimism. American freedom slips away in the name of security.

    The picture above shows a woman in tears. How about a child missing his or her false due to false allegations of abuse, where the mother wanted to enhance her settlement and child custody?

  65. Mark says:

    Enough laws already.

  66. Shattered Men says:

    State Representative Trey Martinez Fischer of San Antonio seeks to create a domestic violence registry, similar to the current sex offender registry.

    Ahh the new version of the SACRLETT LETTER! but i am sure this letter is to be applied to MEN ONLY!

    This whole article and the proposed law is Misandry in nature as it only talks about men as the abuser although all unbiased research shows women are the primary aggressor, that is they hit first and more often. Yes more women do get hurt but often it is a result of a man reaching the breaking point of getting battered time after time again.

    There are federal laws to help women and ONLY women at the expense of men whoa re the victims. It is called the Violence Against WOMEN Act and it was written with the help of radical feminist organizations with NO input allowed from any one who would contest it. This is like writing racial relation laws with the help of the KKK while not allowing the NAACP to say anything.

    Until we look at BOTH sides, we are actually making it more dangerous for everyone including women!

    1. KD says:

      I have to ask Shattered Men – both sides of what? Allowing people to be abused and turning away? Because it is a “house” issue and we shouldn’t care?

      The facts are VERY simple – Most batterers are men – even though most men are not batterers. Men are SIGNIFICANTLY more likely to kill a partner they are abusing compared to a woman. And one final simple stat – the most DANGEROUS time for a person being abused is when they leave. The risk of death of severe injury goes up significantly.

      I have read a lot “she should just leave.” How come no one has asked – why he is not “man enough” to walk away rather that abuse?

      1. chumbawomba says:

        Most batterers are not men. Most reported batterers may be men, depending on location, etc. My work has a program for it’s own physical & sexual harrassment/assault program. It is a fact that the most reported incidents had been male on female, but this has nearly equaled out in the past 5 – 10 years, as it is more acceptable to report female on male violence now. Our organization’s most recent equal oppourtunity survey resulted in more males being sexually harrassed then women in the work place as well.
        We are America- anyone whose been to Europe or elsewhere knows their cultures are more fixed than anything. We are so dynamic and responsive, as we should be to ourselves- America can vastly change- we must be careful we have the right information- and that we keep to Liberty.

  67. Newshound9001 says:

    The fact is that most women who are “abused” are just as violent as their boyfriends and usually are the first to get physical.

  68. Gunluvr says:

    If the accused is identified it’s fair to identify the accuser.

  69. James Colandrea says:

    My ex-wife abused me consistently by threatening all sorts of legal punishments if I refused to do what she wanted. She knew I would be arrested and lose custody if I ever attempted to go to the police. Domestic violence is a tool of the divorce industry and will certainly destroy many many men’s lives rather than do anything good.

  70. Charleston Voice says:

    As a transplant from the Empire State of NY I can assure y’;all that have a state govt more involved is asking for BIG TIME trouble for you! NY is rife with false claims of abuse – even from the urgings of lawyers to win custody suits!!


  71. James Colandrea says:

    My ex-wife abused me consistently by threatening all sorts of legal punishments if I refused to do what she wanted. She knew I would be arrested and lose custody if I ever attempted to go to the police. Domestic violence is a tool of the divorce industry and will certainly destroy many many men’s lives rather than do much good.

    1. Miranda says:

      Sadly, it is more commonly an actual occurence wherein a spouse and their children are terrorized, than it is a “tool”.

  72. ed says:

    Phony spousal abuse allegations are exceedingly common. It is a very useful tool recommended by divorce lawyers to get the innocent husband out of the house, cut dads off from their children, and extort more money.

    There is never any consequence for the wife making the false allegations.

    1. Miranda says:

      Just how common are they? Can you provide us with some statistics so that we won’t think you’re just trying to push this lie along with all the other people here who are saying it?

  73. Haydn says:

    People can be falsely accused and arrested with no actual proof of abuse. It is not a good idea.

  74. Abelard Lindsey says:

    There are privacy issues involved here. For example, this list could be used by HR managers to screen out job applicants. Preventing this kind of abuse of privacy is an issue here.

    1. kd says:

      FYI Ableard – convictions are public record. Good HR organizations already look for those things.

  75. Steven Dean says:

    Vast majority of abused women already know their man is an abuser.
    This registry won’t help anyone, and will destroy lives.

  76. Steven Dean says:

    I too have a wife who seems to thrive on conflict. I’m only still here because
    of our kids. I have never ever abused my wife. Nonetheless, just 8 months ago during an argument she threatened to injure herself and then call the police and tell them that I had hit her. I was able to calm her down, and then the next morning I quietly reported the incident to the police so that they would have a record of her threat to falsely accuse me. I would recommend that anyone in a
    similar situation do the same. This registry law is bad news for men. There are millions of manipulative women out there boys!

    1. bobnj says:

      keep a recorder handy

  77. John Ward says:

    As a counselor I have met with many women in their mid 30’s to mid 40’s who are having a hard time finding a man who will marry them, (or even seriously date them). Men are afraid of commitment after they have spent years dev their careers becoming professionally and socially successful and then seeing that family court is really women’s court where he is going to be guilty till proven innocent. Men simply see the legal deck stacked against them and don’t want to play the game. This law will just further this situation. Read ‘The Myth of Male Power’ by Warren Farrell

    1. Laura Jean says:

      You are addressing only certain men in the society. There are plenty of others who physically abuse their wives and children. As for women aged 35-45 having a tough time finding a husband, that’s because at that age most men are already married, or are divorced and thus are probably not good marriage material. If the divorce occurred because of him, he’s not good marriage material. If the divorce occurred because of her, he is still not good marriage material because he doesn’t have enough healthy psychology to choose well to begin with.

    2. Miranda says:

      There is no myth regarding male power. Compare the male to female ratio of US politicians, and the number of family court judges that are men vs those that are women. Provide some statistics to show us the number of DV arrests that occur because a woman just wanted to get the upper hand. Otherwise you have no leg to stand on.

  78. OldJarhead77 says:

    Trey Fisher is a Democrat, one of only 49 in the Texas House of Representaives. There are 101 Republicans in the Texas House and this bill has A ZERO CHANCE of even getting out of a commitee let alone passing. This is a BS article about a bill that will not pass!

  79. Heather Lynn Thomas says:

    I think this is a great idea because the three times rule definitely shows a pattern. There are a couple of problems though. One, abusers are extremely good at targeting weak or vulnerable personalities and explaining away any bad thing that happened. Beating your s.o. could be explained away as “I was defending myself” or the like and believed by a person desperate enough. These folks are slick and have no problem stooping to whatever means necessary to gain control.

    Here’s the other issue: Did anyone else notice the quote “I’ve heard so many women over the years say, ‘Gosh, I wish I could have seen this coming,’” Langbein said. “‘There was no way for me to see this coming. I didn’t know that his past three wives were abused by him.’”

    Really? The fact that these guys were married three times didn’t tip you off? There are definite signs to an abuser and this one is a big red flag. If the person is such a great catch, why is everybody leaving?

  80. Jo Bobbins says:

    Having been in a relationship where I was the accused abuser, I can say that not all convicted abusers are abusers. I was accused and arrested for abuse when I was 6,000 miles away on three occasions. The charges were dismissed. but I still pay the price today. I cannot volunteer at schools or the YMCA as any kind of coach or chaparon. In short even though I was not guilty I still pay the price years later. You see in Texas domestic violence charges cannot be removed from your record by any means. The last judge who heard my cases told me to come see him anytime my ex-wife ever gave me any more trouble. He did this after she started screaming in court at him that he had to put me in jail or she would not get the child support she had already received. Often the female abuser is manipulative and conniving enough to create lasting damage to the man in here life. Just by asking third parties to save her from this awful person, Manipulation and abuse takes many forms. The laws have gone far enough. We do not need any more registries and the ones that we have are inappropriate and create a second class society which results in marginalized members of society never being able to create better lives for themselves. Government cannot save us from ourselves.

  81. bobnj says:

    looks like a good weapon

  82. bill says:

    Oh boo hoo. Poor, poor, pitiful women. Refuse to get off their butts and leave because they’re getting a free ride and then complain that they aren’t appreciated enough. Ridiculous. Hey! The door’s not locked. Just leave. Period. If you have kids though, okay, that’s another story but usually it takes two to tango, if you get my drift. What did the wife/girlfriend do to deserve getting in trouble? She had to do something.

    1. Miranda says:

      The fact that you refer to DV as the wife “getting in trouble” pretty much everything we need to know about your feelings regarding men and women in relationships.

  83. Billy Bob says:

    Eventually everyone will be a registered something or other. A society this stupid deserves this.

  84. AJ says:

    Women most often are domestic abusers but do not get reported. It is just not in the nature of men to report women who abuse them, neglect children thus causing disharmony in the house. Ever heard of a man calling 911 to report wife! But a woman calls 911 on the drop of a hat. She infact calls 911 even when there is no issue just to putpressure on her husband to make him yield. Men will have to just stop marrying.

  85. Gunluvr says:

    Well, all of you males in the country that wanted to make them your equals under the law, you’ve got what you wanted. They can vote, hold public office and tell you what to do on the job; all of you and your sons are reaping what you’ve sown by making laws to favor them.

    The last true free states in the world where they can still be controlled are in the middle east. I’m not a fan of Islam but the men who follow that faith keep their women in line and preserve their social order.

    1. Laura Jean says:

      That sounds idiotic. I suppose you abuse your wife, if you have one?

  86. dmoore says:

    Married 3 times,.. First two were abusive, very!
    Courts let me down. He pled down to a public nuisance.
    My last husband never laid a hand on me, so no, we don’t always repeat the problem (but we sure do start looking for signals BEFORE that ring goes on).
    Even with all this, No Registry! Get government out of our life. Take accountability for getting yourself out of the relationship. In my case, it meant being homeless for a month, with a 5 year old by my side. It meant making minimum wage and fighting a 9 year custody battle (no money…couldn’t afford attorneys, SO I EDUCATED MYSELF AND WENT PRO SI, and never lost custody, even though he had high powered attorneys.
    I still say no registry! After life became good and I was married to a good man, with a 2nd son, I taught both my sons, once an argument gets into a screaming match, get out of the house. She can bruise herself and you’ll get blamed. Even though the system let ME down, once I joined woman’s groups, I heard the occasional story that I knew wasn’t true. Too many times, innocent people are charged with this. Just recently had it happen to a neighbor. She beat him, they both got arrested, her case got dropped and his didn’t. And that came from her own mouth.
    Three times won’t avoid it, especially if the first woman does it twice (shame on him if he stays, but they DO stay). It only takes him then breaking up a bar fight to stumble into his third.
    No…how about this…community helps community. Use those same tax dollars and assist safe houses for abused people. That’s who helped me, and they are always short on funds and understaffed. No, that wouldn’t work either, because once the gov’t uses those tax dollars, the bureaucracy begins and the shelters lose effectiveness.

    1. Laura Jean says:

      It’s good that your current husband treats you well. You said you teach your sons that once an argument gets into a screaming match to leave the house. Better to teach them to never let an argument get into a screaming match. Teach them to not “solve” issues by yelling, and to not get into a serious relationship with women who do.

  87. Mike says:

    Not a bad idea. However, in maters of the [broken] heart, things do get ugly and passion conquers reason. For every abused lover/spouse out there, there is also a person falsey accused of same. I’ve personlly known people in my life affected by both ends of this tragic equation.

    Thereofre, we should include in this register those found to have falsely accused others of abuse either for vengance of advantage in court.

  88. Laura Jean says:

    First of all, such a registry would end up with half the population listed on it! An exaggeration, yes, but there is an awful lot of domestic violence going on.

    The article mentions a woman who said she never suspected a thing about her husband who had been married THREE TIMES BEFORE!!! That alone is a major red flag. People have subconscious radar for one another, and are often not attracted to one another for psychologically healthy reasons. Abusive relationships are a “dance” by the dysfunctional. It takes two to tango. Women in abusive relationships have a high likelihood of having been abused growing up. Segments of the population accept such behavior. A registry is fine, but let’s do something about our sick society that produces so many sick people.

  89. Gunluvr says:

    I your benevolent, all knowing opinion?!!

  90. Miranda says:

    I find it very interesting how many of the commmenters are men making the tired old claim that, well, “Women are just abusive as men are!!”

    FIRST of all, that is completely irrelevant to this issue. If women are convicted 3 times for domestic violence, then hey, guess what…? Their names will be on the list right along with those of the men. Why did you all feel compelled to spam the comment section of this story with your false statistics, your false claims, and your obviously uneducated views about the nature of abusive relationships?

    My guess is that a large portion of you linked to this story from one of your men’s right’s websites, called in the troop, and proceeded to engage in a form of disinformation spamming. As a matter of fact, I saw the suggestion to someone to google the spearhead. Yes, do. Please, anyone who is not a part of the mrm, please take a minute to google that site, along with mgtow.proboards (which also linked to this story). Any confusion caused by these commenters about abuse will be cleared up very quickly once the reader sees how the men in this movement feel about women.

    Anyhoo, to address some of the points made by some of the commenters.

    1. There are some surveys floating around the net that show women being as agressive as men. These surveys ONLY ask the male and/or the female “have you ever hit your partner” (some inquiries are based only in the six-month period prior to the time the survey was taken), and “how many times have you hit your partner”. The yes’s and # of hits for each gender were then counted. Anyone who knows anything about abuse (and I’d bet that at least a third of these male commenters do) knows that abuse isn’t “just” lashing out at your partner. Domestic abuse is a calculated manipulation of one partner over another in which the offender breaks down, over time, the victim’s defenses, including his or her financial resources, self esteem, and network of friends and family. People who do this are controlling to a sick degree, and see their victim as ONLY an extension of herself or himself. It is this mentality that leads to some perpetrators ultimately killing their victim once the victim finally leaves the relationship. I am personally of the very, very firm belief that NO ONE has the right to lash out and hit another for any reason. However, the truth is that the surveys that are quoted by some are far too simplistic to give a realistic look at the problem.
    For a more reality-based look at the issue, go here:
    Some might say that incidents of DV against men are under-reported to police, thus the large discrepancy between the sexes in reporting these crimes to the police agencies. That is a very good point. However, we also do not know the number of female victims who do not report to the police. Ancedotal evidence overwhelmingly shows that more abused women than men are reaching out for community help online. Where are all these thousands of men who are too proud to call the police during battering incidents? Why are they not reaching out anonymously via the internet? (I will not provide links to some of the online communities as they will immediately be spammed by the same disinfo agents who have spammed here, except that this time they will be male victims of abuse).

    2. There is no proof to suggest that male or female victims of domestic violence “seek out” this type of relationship. That is a ridiculous belief that has absolutely no basis in reality. I, for one, and living proof. Now that I know what to look for when dating someone new, I feel pretty sure that I know which behaviors trigger warning bells, and I will never allow myself to be sucked into the sick reality of one of these narcissistic monsters. I know the mentality of these people, I know that they are not “good” people who have just been pushed into abusive behavior by their partners. Abusers are abusers. Period. They DO NOT change behaviors, the only change victims. No amount of protesting from anyone who wishes to detract from the reality of this issue is going to change the truth.

    3. Women (and men, I bet it’s safe to say) DO NOT like abusive people. This is another preposterous lie that is being pushed. The MRM insist that women only like abusive, “bad” guys. This is rediculous to the nth degree.

    4. Another lie that is being pushed is the prevalence of false accusations of DV. There are no statistics to show how often this happens. But one also should remember that violent partners are often not convicted for their crimes. The reasons vary, and they include refusal of the victims to testify against their partner and lack of evidence. So for each “false” accusation, there is a least one person going unpunished for the terror that he or she unleashed behind closed doors on their loved ones.

    There. Now there is a little reality in this section to counter all the nonsense.

    1. Laura Jean says:

      As a woman over the age of 60, who has basically seen it all, I can tell you with no doubt whatsoever that people have radar for one another. If you don’t know that, you need to observe more closely and think on a more detailed level about this issue. All relationships are a dance by partners who were drawn to one another as if by using radar to find one another. A healthy person wants only a similarly psychologically healthy, emotionally stable person for a mate. To the degree that a person is drawn to an unhealthy person, is the degree to which he is unhealthy himself. If a woman ends up with an abusive man, she did not get there by accident. She picked up his radar signals from day one. These processes happen on an almost unconscious level. I don’t know if you are saying you were once in an abusive relationship. But you did say you now know what to look for to avoid abusive men. That is a conscious choice, which indicates you had to give some thought to it. So many women do NOT give any thought to it. They are attracted to a guy, they get drawn into the relationship, and it’s downhill from there. Had they retrained their own minds to consciously avoid such men, they would be much better off. But unfortunately they are not ATTRACTED to the right kind of man. There is something in the personality of the abuser that ATTRACTS them on an unconscious level. This is just fact.

      1. Amy says:

        No, Laura jean, that is not fact. I would not be in my happy relationship after my abusive one if I was only attracted to abusive people.

      2. Laura Jean says:

        I have no idea about the reality of your relationships, either the current one or the prior one. I don’t know what rearranging of your thought processes that you went through after you got out of your prior abusive relationship. There are many unknowns for which we have only your perspective. One thing is clear: you gals are very adamant that there is nothing wrong with your own psychology, that it is only the abusive men there is something wrong with. No one is denying there is something terribly wrong with those guys. But how did you end up with them in the first place? In the world you describe, there are abusive men who lure unsuspecting women into their clutches. Such a one-sided view of things is rarely accurate in the real world. We are talking about boundaries. Women who are attracted to men who abuse them are women who have had their boundaries violated on some level prior to that. A woman who comes from a home where her parents were psychologically healthy and did not violate her boundaries, and who did not otherwise have her boundaries violated outside her home, is a woman who will NOT be attracted to an abuser, no matter how cute and fun to be with he is. But what I am hearing from you is you do not want to admit that there could be anything in your own psychology that would cause you to be attracted to a guy who turns out to abuse you. It’s not the abuse that attracts you, but that other cluster of behaviors that later you realize should have been a red flag. This type of cycle of attraction and abuse can go on for generations in the same family. You don’t do other women any service by denying reality.

  91. Erika says:

    I agree with Amy and you should be ashamed for spreading lies all over the internet. Abusers are to blame for their abusive behaviors, NOT their victims!!!

    1. Laura Jean says:

      You cannot read my comments accurately and come away with the idea that I do not blame the abusers themselves for their own behaviors. You people really need to use some logic. I at no time said that the victim of abuse causes the abuser to abuse her. That’s ridiculous. An abusive person is solely responsible for what he does. But my point is that women need to be very careful and rethink who they are attracted to in order to avoid being attracted to an abuser. If she does not do so, she will just keep falling into the same trap, which originates in her own way of thinking.

      1. Willa says:

        Laura, all you are doing is parroting stereotypes in an attempt to make yourself sound intelligent. You are failing. It is embarrassing for everyone. Please stop.

  92. Jacinda says:

    LauraJean, you state that it is “fact” that women who wind up with abusers are attracted to that type of person. Since this is factual, could you please provide something to back up this factual information?

    I came from a very healthy and loving home in which my mother and father were both very happy, and I still wound up with an abuser. Since leaving him more than 10 years ago, I have been in a few relationships and have never found myself with another abusive person.

    So how in the world could any of what you say be “factual”?

    1. Laura Jean says:

      To all you ladies who are arguing with me:

      Every woman is well advised to examine herself before she gets involved with any male and make sure of her motivations, her needs, her psychology, etc. Most young women operate on emotion alone and not logic. They don’t understand in a mature manner what their own inner needs and motivations are, much less what to look for in a male. Psychologists/therapists/counselors relate that people repeat the patterns they learned in childhood. For instance, many people are attracted to people who unconsciously remind them of the parent about whom they have the most conflicted feelings. People are attracted to what is familiar. If what is familiar is abuse or other types of boundary violations, they are unconsciously attracted to people and situations like that. Every woman’s own story is anecdotal. For instance, some are saying they come from healthy homes and still wound up with an abuser. However, we need to first define what “healthy” means. I might look at your situation and judge it differently from you. What you consider healthy may not be healthy at all to me. Most of this is common sense though. I’m not sure why you gals feel the need to protest so loudly that there is absolutely nothing unhealthy about you. That’s the very definition of denial, folks.

  93. Erika says:

    LauraJean, I am very sorry to see you acting as an expert on a subject about which you know very little. I find it very suspect that you would easliy discount all the thousands of stories of women who describe the manner in which they were decieved at the beginning of the relationship. It almost seems as though you are deliberately spreading disinformation.

  94. Miranda says:


    You seem to be very emotionally invested in your belief as to how these relationships come about. I understand. No one wants to believe that they could fall prey to something like this, we’d all rather live in the illusion that we are somehow separate from women who end up with these types of men, because to do so would be to realize that it could happen to us. Hey, I get it.

    However, you are stating things that simply aren’t true. And in doing so, you are telling women that they really have no control over who they are attracted to since they are themselves unhealthy. Don’t you think society would be better served by educating women about what to look for in this kind of man, so that they can avoid them altogether?

    1. LauraJean says:

      I’m sorry but you and others are persisting in reading into my comments thoughts I am not expressing. First of all, rid your mind of preconceived ideas before you read a person’s comments. You will find it helps you understand things better. The only thing I am emotionally invested in is desiring that women become educated about the process of attraction in relationships, especially if they have had their own boundaries violated at any point in their lives, which is at least half the population if not more. Because if they have, that is the degree to which they might not make good choices. And they need to be aware of that about themselves. Self awareness is a good thing. Stop fighting it so hard. It will do no good at all to educate a female about what to look for to avoid a potential abuser if she has not also worked on her own psychology. Both aspects of the situation are needed, not just a one sided approach. And what exactly do you have against a female working to make herself more emotionally healthy anyway? And again, please go back through my comments and show me where I at any point blamed the woman for the abuse she received, or said that she has no control over her own life? That’s absurd.

  95. Miranda says:

    “A healthy person wants only a similarly psychologically healthy, emotionally stable person for a mate. To the degree that a person is drawn to an unhealthy person, is the degree to which he is unhealthy himself.”–LauraJean

    I am no more “healthy” now than the day that I married the abuser. But I am more aware.

    “That is a conscious choice, which indicates you had to give some thought to it. So many women do NOT give any thought to it. They are attracted to a guy, they get drawn into the relationship, and it’s downhill from there. Had they retrained their own minds to consciously avoid such men, they would be much better off. But unfortunately they are not ATTRACTED to the right kind of man. “–LJ

    The first three sentences are correct. But you lose me after that. First of all, the only “retraining” that I had to do was learn from the past relationship and learn the subtle techniques that abusers use. That’s simply learning something new, that’s not “retraining” my mind. Also, according to your “logic”, I shouldn’t even be attracted to my new guy. It is an exceedingly difficult task to change behavior, let alone behavior that has roots in deeply subconscious emotional disturbances, as you claim people like me have. Do you honestly believe I could’ve just “fixed” myself so easily in order to find myself in my current healthy relationship?

    1. LauraJean says:

      If you are more aware, then you are healthier. Awareness is key. Without awareness, we can’t change. If we don’t know we need to change, we won’t. I have no idea about your past situation or current situation, as to how healthy they were or are now. Why do you not understand what I said about a woman retraining her own mind to be attracted to different men? Isn’t that what you said, that women need to learn what to look for? Yes, they need to learn what to look for, but they need to go deeper than that and ask themselves why they are attracted to men who display those red flag characteristics. Wouldn’t you agree? Once they discover they have been attracted to such a man, they have to work on making themselves healthier than that. Doing such work will overcome the problem of attraction eventually. It’s a habit of mind and emotion. Habits can be broken.

  96. Miranda says:

    Scott said “I’ve been in the CJ system for 21 years, as a law enforcement officer and I can tell you most batterers who are men are NOT nice on the outside, or superficially. Most women who are, are very hard to detect, except you get hints of it when you listen to how they talk about men outside of their audience.”

    Most men AND women batterers are the same when it comes to some of the psychological tactics that they use. How is it that we know it is not simply an anger problem with abusers? Because when the police have been called, their behavior changes immediately once the police have arrived on the scene. They go from brutal, terrorizing psychopaths to calm niceguy. The ease with which they make such a transition is almost frightening to behold. And yeah, most of them do so. How can you be in the CJ system and not know that…? I hope someone catches on soon to your level of inattention, because you have no business being in such a system if you are unable to see something so obvious.

    The last time I was attacked by my abuser, as I was picking up the phone to call the police on him, he grabbed his cellphone and called to pretend that he was the victim. (This after holding me down to hock a lugie in my face, then knocking me against the wall and grabbing and picking me up by my crotch and telling me that it belonged to him). He lied on the phone right in front of me. When the police arrived he was a completely different person than the one I’d seen, but they knew better. One of the officers looked me in the eye and told me that if I didn’t leave him, I’d be coming home one day to find a shotgun in my face. Of course, the judge, after hearing about the case, said that I was just as much to blame for what happened to me because I was in MY home.

    Oh, okay. I deserved to be terrorized, spit on, and have bruises put all over me simply by sheer virtue of the fact that I was “there”.

  97. Miranda says:

    LauraJean, this is not about protesting that there is something that is unhealthy about us. I would be more than happy to provide you will a list of things about me that I do not like. That is not the issue. Whatever MY issues are have nothing to do with HIS behavior or my ability to be fooled by him.

    Your insistence in keeping self-described victims on the defensive is very interesting.

    LauraJean “Yes, they need to learn what to look for, but they need to go deeper than that and ask themselves why they are attracted to men who display those red flag characteristics. Wouldn’t you agree? Once they discover they have been attracted to such a man, they have to work on making themselves healthier than that. Doing such work will overcome the problem of attraction eventually. It’s a habit of mind and emotion. Habits can be broken.”

    No, no, NO. I never had to ask myself WHY. I already knew WHY. It was because, like you, I simply didn’t know that such cold, calculating, manipultaive psychopaths existed or that I could be so easily fooled.

    It’s not a matter of being attracted to an abuser, it’s a matter of making allowances for certain behaviors than we later learn had much deeper consequences than we originally thought. Everyone makes allowances for certain behaviors in those that they love. Doing so does not, by any stretch of the imagination, make you someone who seeks out abusers.

    So, just to stress this once again, NO I did not have to break any habits or retrain my brain or try to figure out why I was attracted to men like that. Because the problem wasn’t me. The problem was that I once allowed myself to be suckered and fooled by an abuser.

    Do you see the difference?

  98. Miranda says:

    LauraJean “Self awareness is a good thing. Stop fighting it so hard. It will do no good at all to educate a female about what to look for to avoid a potential abuser if she has not also worked on her own psychology. Both aspects of the situation are needed, not just a one sided approach. And what exactly do you have against a female working to make herself more emotionally healthy anyway?”

    You are conflating two separate issues. Her problems are not what led her to him. That does not mean, at all, WHATSOEVER, that she does not have problems. It simply means that those problems are unrelated to her relationship with an ahuser. What is it about this concept that you are having such a difficult time with?

    1. LauraJean says:

      This conversation is getting redundant. Google the topic and you will find any number of psychology/psychiatry articles by doctors who say exactly what I am saying. That’s one reason I know. I’ve read widely on the subject. I wish you all the best in your relationships.

  99. Miranda says:

    I don’t need to google anything. I’ve LIVED it. Why don’t YOU google narcissism, stockholm syndrome, and Biderman’s Principle. I hope with all my might that you never learn first hand just how full of hot air you are. But it’s pretty obvious that you wish to be an expert on this topic, so why don’t you start by widening your narrow view just a tad.

  100. Miranda says:

    ….Also, it would be a good idea to shed your preconcieved notions about relationship dynamics as they apply to violent relationships and actually listen to what victims have to say about their experiences.

    1. LauraJean says:

      They deceived themselves. They did not have good judgment or discernment. They were immature and inexperienced. Any number of reasons can explain why they could not see through the facade. But that is precisely what the problem is: they did not see through the facade. Could not or would not. Stop letting women off the hook for being irresponsible in making bad choices. Abusers are bad. But my fellow women can be really ignorant. I hear staggering ignorance every day. Get off your man-hating binge. I am detecting hostility, anger and bitterness in you people who say you were in abusive relationships. Get some help with that. Hating men will not help you.

      1. Willa says:

        I’m sorry, are you saying that because someone is ignorant, their ABUSER should get off the hook? Are you listening to yourself? You need to take a basic logic class. One person’s ignorance does not justify another person’s VIOLENCE. Any five year old will tell you that. I am concerned about your morals.

  101. Miranda says:

    Thank you, LauraJean. I had suspected that maybe you had an ulterior motive for being here trying to deflect attention away from the people who actually perpetrate the crimes of domestic violence, and you just proved it by going off on that weird, unwarranted tanget and calling me a bitter, hostile man-hater.

    Abusers are pros at deflecting blame away from themselves. To see that in action, all one has to do is look at the comment section of this story.

    1. LauraJean says:

      I have no ulterior motives. Go back and read your posts. They dominate the discussion and are frequently abusive to people who are merely expressing their opinions. There are indeed people on here who are supportive of abusers. That’s not me. You would do a lot more good if you would moderate your tone, chill out the anger just a tad, and try to actually help people understand the problem. Your attacks on others are not helpful to your cause. They don’t hear your words because of all the anger, hostility, and verbal abuse you are dishing out.

  102. Miranda says:

    Wow….why do I suddenly feel as though I’m having a conversation with my ex husband?

    I was under the impression that we were discussing the merits of your claims regarding a woman’s role in an abusive relationship. It is you who decided to get personal. For you to then turn around and call me verbally abusive is amusing, because it’s typical.

    Thank you for this enlightening conversation. Have a good night.

  103. PJ! says:

    Having been a victim of a false accuser, which caused me severe disruption in my professional life, I found out that after we broke up from firends that she put restarining orders of her sisters before, had a sexual assault claim against one of her past bosses, and put her previous husband in jail for six months on lies…
    The DV system fails to protect due process and is flawed. I am a victim of these hate laws.

  104. Ian Martin says:

    These are just laws that expand government and wreck men’s lives.
    Domestic Violence – WOMEN ARE HALF THE PROBLEM

  105. Stephanie Strange says:

    First of all, man abuser or woman abuser, this is an excellent idea. Okay, a lot of abusers use the word misunderstanding. Can there possibly be the same misunderstanding three times in a row? I think that any individual that does not agree with getting a grasp on these psychotic manipulating abusers should maybe think twice about why they don’t.

  106. Stephanie Strange says:

    One more thing. Though it is true that children who are abused, whether it be emotionally, physically, sexually grow up to follow the same pattern because it is familiar to them, is not the case for every single human being.

    Being accepted is a social need. Even the most notable experts on domestic violence can’t argue that fact. Men or women who are subjected to domestic violence are not unhealthy for chosing to be with their abuser in the beginning. Where a victim becomes unhealthy is from the beginning of the actual abuse to the end and thereafter.

    Another note, no one, and I mean no one can truly appreciate the horrific mental and physical state that an abuser leaves their victim in, unless they have walked that road. You can read every book there is on domestic abuse or any other social disorder for that matter.

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