DALLAS (105.3 THE FAN) Duke’s Coach K says: I will NOT be a Cowboys fan!

Well, sort of.

Remember back in February when Jason Garrett went to the East Coast to follow Coach K around for three days and brush up on his coaching style? Well, while he was there, Garrett brought him a bunch of Cowboys stuff as a house warming gift, and Coach K made it clear that he’s still a huge Bears fan (as he did grow up in Chicago.)

Krzyzweski said, “We got a whole bunch of Cowboys stuff. I know my Bears friends are not happy with that. And my wife’s Redskins family is definitely not happy about that.”

Relax, Coach. I’m sure your wife LOVES the Rex Ryan bobble head doll! www.dallasnews.com

And in OTHER “itch” worthy news…

It’s always a great thing to strive to break records (ala Ty Cobbs or Cy Young), especially in Major League Baseball, but I’m not sure the New York Mets wanna be a part of THIS record breaking statistic for the history books: Setting the modern day record of having 120 losses in one season!

Now, let’s give props to the ’03 Tigers who came CLOSE to having the honor of wearing THOSE t-shirts by losing 119 games that season, but Mets fans are already panicking that the 120 loss season will be a reality as they’ve lost about 90% of their games played so far!

At one point this week, the Mets were 12th in the league in HR’s and slugging and 14th in OBP. The team ERA of 5.25 was the 2nd worst and the Mets’ pitchers have allowed 74 walks, that’s the most in the league.

Hey Mets fans! It could be worse! You could have had Bernie Madoff screw it all up for you too! Oh… wait….  www.yardbarker.com

The Boston Red Sox gutted out what used to be the cheap seats at Fenway and are selling them to fans! That’s right! Fans will now be able to buy and carry off those seats for a cool $795 bucks!

This means that they’ll actually be able to sit in THE very same Fenway seats that tons of their other obnoxious Red Sox brethren have spilled beer and popcorn in and watch their team lose right in front of the comfort of their OWN TVs!

A warning for you Red Sox fans: Losing isn’t any more fun when it’s in HD.

Anyway, the very reasonable $795 dollar price tag DOES include shipping, so it completely justifies your purchase! www.mlb.com

Buck Showalter is NOT a fan of this national anthem and he’s not afraid to make it known!

Check out this hilarious clip: http://larrybrownsports.com/youtubeage/buck-showalter-was-not-a-fan-of-this-national-anthem/64496

Classic Showalter.

Cardinals pitcher Ryan Franklin has been pretty atrocious all season. He’s got a 9.40 ERA and is 0-2 on the early season. He’s also blown 4 saves in 5 opportunities through 18 games already!

So, when Cards fans took to booing him after he allowed an 8th inning home run to Nat’s outfielder Laynce Nix, Ryan got pretty upset.

He went OFF on the fans during an interview afterwards, saying, “I guess they have short memories too because I think I’ve been pretty good here. It doesn’t bother me, but it just shows some people’s true colors. You’re either a fan or you’re not. You don’t boo your own team. I don’t care who you are or what you say or just because you spent your money to come here to watch us play that somebody happens to make one bad pitch and give up a homer and you are going to start booing him? I’ve been here for five years, and four years I’ve been pretty good. You should go write stories about the fans booing.  They are supposed to be the best fans in baseball. Yeah right.”

Yikes, Ryan. Those are some pretty harsh words, considering you’re a reliever that’s yet to make a strong pitch this entire season.

But, you’ll be glad to know that I have an update on all of this! After plenty of thought (and the fact that his team ended up winning in the second game of that SAME Nat’s double header) Ryan contacted a local beat writer to apologize for his previous rant on the fans!

He said, “Obviously these last 2 1/2 weeks have been frustrating for me, and I’m frustrated with myself. I can understand why the fans are frustrated. I’ve loved my time here inSt. Louis. It’s my favorite place to play. It’s just a frustrating time for me right now, because I feel like I’m letting everyone down. First and foremost, I’m letting myself down. I’m letting the team down and obviously the fans. It’s just been a hard time for me right now, and it’s something I’ve never been through. It’s just really frustrating. Things didn’t come out the right way. It was right after the game and I said things I shouldn’t have said. I apologize for that. It was the wrong thing to say, but at the same time I was frustrated. I am frustrated. I’m just trying to do my best to do everything I can to get back on track. So that’s what I’m trying to do. I’m trying to get back out there and help this team.” 

Way to go, Ryan! Now get out there and bring that 9.40 ERA down to a 9.00! www.foxsportsmidwest.com

Lakers star Lamar Odom is NOT happy that Bill Plaschke of the LA Times wrote about the reality TV show he stars in with his wife, (Khloe & Lamar) calling him “soft” and questioning if it was making Lamar play poorly!

Might I add that this is the VERY same show that Lamar wanted to quit just three days in because it was too much for him to handle?

Some of Bill’s digs included calling the show a “cheesy series” and calling Khloe Kardashian a “D-League celebrity.” (Which, can we really argue these two points?)

Then it gets kinda touchy. Bill talks about Lamar getting pushed around on the show by the Kardashian women, saying, “I’m wondering how Odom can watch or hear about himself portrayed in this manner, then go out and easily become the aggressor on the basketball court.” He adds that the show makes Lamar look soft and argues that its release should have been delayed until AFTER the post season.

Well, Lamar was NONE too thrilled with this column. In fact, Before Game 2 for the Lakers against the Hornets, he was “feeling down” according to OC Register reporter Kevin Ding. Ding also quoted Odom as saying the column “crossed the line.” Odom took the criticism personally and tweeted to Ding that “If we were in a bar …” (You can fill in the rest.)

Lamar! Chill out, brah! You DID just win the NBA Sixth Man of the Year award! Tell Bill to write a column on THAT! www.latimes.com

Speaking of the Lakers, now they are on this HUGE GLAAD campaign, thanks to Kobe Bryant calling a ref a “F*****g F****t” earlier last week. First, Kobe came out and publicly apologized for what he said, then continued the “I’m so sorry and I’m not really a homophobe” campaign by telling ESPN’s Lisa Salters that he used to actually stick up for the gay kids at his high school when they’d be teased. He was also rumored to have been invited to be in a Gay Pride Parade float and NOW the Lakers organization has partnered up with GLAAD in a new PSA.

The Lakers got together and made a PSA for “hurtful words.”

Let me just say, it’s quite the little nugget of comedy gold.

At this point, I’m allowing my fingers to exercise discernment from typing anything else about this right now, but see it for yourself here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=7NhEpDpYrWg

So up until now, everything regarding the Jalen Rose/DWI arrest back in March has been kept hush-hush. But, the police report has now been released and we now know some of the juicy details!

First, and probably the most obvious best, is the fact that when Jalen was pulled over in his Escalade, he told the cops that he hadn’t been drinking a drop of alcohol, even though he couldn’t make it through several field sobriety tests!

For “not drinking” anything that night, Jalen was seen swaying while he was standing and his eyes were slightly blood shot, as he registered at a .088 blood alcohol level. He also had difficulty with each field sobriety test he was given, not being able to follow the cop’s finger movement, not being able to keep his balance while walking and turning, not being able to stand on on-leg in the stand test, and had trouble blowing into a breathalyzer. Yes, all of this for “not drinking” anything that night.

After he was taken into custody, an in-car police video showed Jalen stretched across the rear seat of a patrol car, while saying, “There’s no reason to arrest me.”

Classic, Jalen. Classic.

I have to wonder if Grant Hill is sitting in his “Uncle Tom” cabin somewhere asking who the “B***h and P***y” is now? (See “Fab 5” Documentary for reference.) www.apnews.com

Speaking of Duke, sophomore linebacker Tyree Glover was popped for trafficking cocaine and has been kicked off the team!

Two quick observations after that first sentence: 1) Of COURSE a Duke kid would be popped with an expensive, glamarous drug and not the and 2) It’s Duke football for crying out loud! Tyree, be THANKFUL they did you a favor and kicked you off of the squad!

Duke Coach David Cutcliffe said that Tyree’s behavior is “conduct unbecoming of a member of the program.”

What?!?! You mean distributing a few bricks of nose candy isn’t a positive reflection of the football program or the academia of the university??

Anyway, here’s how it all went down. Cops reportedly confiscated just under 30 grams of powder cocaine and just under 73 grams of weed from Tyree’s dorm room! He was charged with trafficking in cocaine and possession of weed and cocaine with the intent to sell and deliver. (Um, YA THINK!??!)

According to his bio on the school website, Tyree played in 11 games last season, starting one. In 2009, he played in 12 games with one start. (I guess he knew he had to find a side gig, since his potential pro-football career didn’t look like it was going to pan out.)

On a side note: Tyree is the fourth player from Coach Cutcliffe’s first full recruiting class in 2009 to find trouble with the law. The other three (defensive tackle John Drew, defensive end Brandon Putnam and running back Kyle Griswould) were all from Georgia and were booted off the team in January 2010 after being arrested on firearms charges.

See! Maybe Duke players CAN be hardcore. www.heraldsun.com

Remember the nutty Bama fan who was recently accused of poisoning trees at Auburn’s legendary Toomer’s Corner? Well, there are reports surfacing, saying that he was attacked following trial proceedings in Alabama!

Harvey Updyke claims that he was  attacked at a gas station and was admitted to the ER because of the head injuries he sustained in the attack!

But here’s the bizarre part of the story: The alleged gas station involved said that they were skeptical of the attack because they saw and heard nothing and that they were never contacted about any surveillance video footage, as Harvey is claiming that he did.

Here’s the smoking gun in the case too: The neighbors across the street were sitting on their porch with their dogs (and I’m sure a transmission and an old toilet as well) and observed NO shenanigans at the gas station, as they had an eagle eye view straight from their trailer…err…house.

Anyway, the story is still up in the air and Harvey is still a nutty Bama fan with a daughter he actually named Crimson.

I wish I was kidding about that.

He’s reportedly had to actually sleep in his car by some river, out of fear of MORE retaliation. www.oanow.com

And finally…

The Nike logo has hit a home run with street gangs! Arizona State’s new “pitchfork” logo is expected to be adopted as the official logo by a Chicago street gang!

It’s being reported that the new Sun Devils logo will be used by a mostly Hispanic Chicago street gang called Satan’s Disciples ALL because of the new logo from Nike.

Gang members have them tattooed on their bodies and have been going around tagging neighborhoods with them.

Talk about a totally free marketing campaign for Nike! They don’t even have to pay to have their logo spray painted onto overpasses, the sides of train cargo cars or prisons!

Just do it!

And THAT’S my “Jock Itch!”


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