In Tebow We Trust?
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Yep, Tim Tebow is the most amazing scam being pulled over on America since you minced your Sham-Wow with a set of Ginsu knives. If you’re like most gullible NFL fans, you’re buying what he’s selling:
A cheap, knock-off, too-good-to-be-true imitation of an NFL quarterback.
A devout Christian better at witnessing to the world than throwing spirals to his receivers, Tebow seems like a good person. A motivational leader. And a decent football player. I’d like to have him as my neighbor or on my football team as a fullback, maybe a tight end. But this whole “Tebow Time!” infatuation is irrational, misguided and downright dangerous. You’re being duped, deal with it.
Because if he is indeed ordained and actually led by divine intervention, how do we explain it when God’s chosen quarterback pratfalls for the world to behold? That’s not an if, but rather a when. With messy mechanics and no natural feel for the position, Tebow is a flawed quarterback at best. And his disciples are merely blinded by desperation in their frenzied fueling of his fandom with illogical favoritism.
No? Then riddle me this.
Last Sunday the Minnesota Vikings led the Broncos when Denver linebacker Mario Haggan intercepted a pass and returned it for a touchdown. The play spawned countless Twitter tweets with some form of Teeeeeeeeeebbbbooowwwwwww! How exactly did the quarterback contribute to that play? And in the fourth quarter with the game tied at 32, cornerback Andre Goodman intercepted a Vikings’ pass and returned it to the Minnesota 15. After four runs by Lance Ball, Broncos’ kicker Matt Prater won the game with a 23-yard field goal at the gun. Again the roar from Twitter and throughout The Fan Sports Lounge in Dallas: Tebow Does It Again! It’s as maddening as it is moronic.
Against the San Diego Chargers two weeks ago head coach John Fox allowed Tebow to give the team’s pre-game speech. It was ripped, of course, straight from The Bible. Proverbs 27:17 about how “iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” After the Broncos’ overtime victory Tebow’s followers praised his speech. But if it was do dang inspirational, how is that Denver ran out of the tunnel and promptly fell behind, 10-0?
Warranted or not, there’s no denying Tebow’s popularity. He’s fourth in the Pro Bowl voting for AFC quarterbacks and closing fast on a couple guys with multiple Super Bowl rings named Brady and Roethlisberger.
Tebow’s star power is so rising that in the Davie Brown Index that measures endorsement appeal he’s ranked 399th in America, alongside Star Wars creator George Lucas, Comedy Central host Stephen Colbert and golfer Phil Mickelson. The DBI estimates that a whopping 80 percent of Americans “approve” of Tebow. He also has the second-best selling jersey at NFL.com behind only reigning Super Bowl MVP and quarterback of the undefeated Green Bay Packers, Aaron Rodgers.
There’s even a web site commenced by his fans. Fittingly, Tebowing.com has nothing to do with football. Don’t be surprised if a Presidential candidate in need of a campaign boost soon takes to a knee.
And that’s precisely why it’s so easy to hate those who love Tim Tebow. Rational or not, they’re quick to give their man a Teblow.
When the Dallas Cowboys win a game that includes two key interceptions and a dramatic walk-off field goal, the headlines don’t scream “Romo Does It Again!” Tebow simply gets too much credit. I know the guy is 6-1 as a starter in Denver, but he isn’t a carpenter from Nazareth and I’m pretty the sunrise over the Rockies this morning occurred with zero Tebow input. If he’s capable of such miracles one wonders why he doesn’t just go over and lay healing hands on star linebacker Von Miller’s injured thumb?
We’ve seen this before, especially in the Bible Belt of Metroplex sports. I grew up attending Northside Baptist Church in Duncanville, Texas. Sunday school. Sunday service. Sunday night service. Wednesday night service. Vacation Bible School. Revival. Mission trips. Royal Ambassadors. Fellowship of Christian Athletes. The works. I always admired former Cowboys coach Tom Landry and quarterback Roger Staubach as “men of God”, but they didn’t irritate the masses by pointing to the Heavens after each 12-yard completion or tackle orchestrated by the Flex defense.
Texas Rangers’ outfielder Josh Hamilton has some Tebow in him and we’ve seen him rise, and fall. And so did another prominent local athlete, who had scriptures taped to his locker and began every interview thusly:
Let me start by thanking my Lord and savior Jesus Christ. All things are possible through him, who strengthens me.
And with that, Cowboys’ quarterback Quincy Carter would take questions.
I don’t necessarily root against Tebow, more so I desire that he’s seen for what he is: A guy who can’t talk intelligently about football without reverting back to Bible scripture which has nothing to do with the nuances of the game. Imagine if you went to church on Sunday expecting to hear the sermon but instead getting an hour-long earful of the preacher breaking down the Cover 2 pass defense and dissecting the when-to-go-for-it 2-point conversion chart.
Tebow is better than I thought he’d be as a quarterback, but he’s still a college kid in the pros. He’s the NFL’s version of American Idol “star” William Hung, more famous for being unintentionally successful than actually a master of his craft. But, sorry, this isn’t a Disney movie with a Hollywood ending. It’s the NFL, where dreams are stomped to shreds by badass villains named Ray Lewis.
But don’t take it from me. Even legendary NFL quarterbacks have their doubts about Tebow’s sustained success.
Right, Joe Theismann? “I think what we all ought to do is enjoy the circus while it’s in town.”
Right, Steve Young? “He’s in a sweet spot right now, but I don’t know if it’s developing him to go do it long-term in the NFL.”
The telling point is this: When talking Tebow ask his fans about his passing accuracy. About reading defenses. About his footwork. You know what you’ll hear, accessorized with passionate, unruly volume. “All he does is win, baby!” Yeah, except he couldn’t even win the job from Kyle Orton in training camp. Tebow’s in this position by default. And he will experience ultimate defeat.
Being a disciple of Tebow is to have blind faith. But, in the long run, the devil is always in the details.
Go ahead, disagree. Shake a toldja-so finger at me and pound your defiant fist on The Bible while kneeling at Tebow’s altar. Then scurry on off to bed … and don’t forget to turn out the lights.
Via The Clapper.