2012 Grammys: My Top 10 CBS Contemplations
10. Cool that Diana Ross and Rangers’ manager Ron Washington go to the same hair stylist.
9. I still hate the New York Giants. And it doesn’t help when they invade the Grammys. For once and all, Victor Cruz’s half-assed salsa dance is overrated. Dude barely moves and we act like he’s Fred Astaire.
8. Rihanna has Rihanna’s booty, which is nice. But Rihanna also has ‘80s MTV VeeJay Nina Blackwood’s hair, which is weird. And as for Katy Perry, I would comment on her blue hair but I was too distracted by her tight gold pants that displayed, well, something along the lines of a desert animal with humps an aquatic economy morphing with foot phalanges. C’mon, you saw it too.
7. Carrie Yumderwood.
6. Making appearances with Taylor Swift and Blake Shelton, 2011 was the year of the banjo. What’ll be new in 2012: The washboard?
5. Lady Gaga showed up with a “hat” that was more … a ridiculous accessory that made her face look like it was a strained tuna trapped in an offshore fishing net. And by the end of the night the net had smeared her lipstick all over her face.
4. I grew up with “Rhinestone Cowboy” and “Wichita Lineman”, but Glen Campbell is a weak Lifetime Achievement Award. Kinda like this year’s Baseball Hall of Fame (Barry Larkin) and Pro Football Hall of Fame (Curtis Martin) classes. Just very underwhelming.
3. When I grow up I wanna be half as cool and 1/8th as talented as the Foo Fighters’ Dave Grohl.
2. Liked Jennifer Hudson’s understated tribute to Whitney Houston, but let’s not all pretend to be “shocked and saddened” by Whitney’s death over the weekend. She’s been past her prime for years now, not putting out new music. She’s been strung out on drugs for years now as well. She likely overdosed on Xanax and drowned in her own bathtub. With that voice, to me it’s maddening that she cut it short by a life of self-indulgence and self-destruction. And, one last time, stop calling her Super Bowl XXV one of the greatest “performances” of all time. She recorded the song in an L.A. studio two weeks before the game. Same with the Florida orchestra that accompanied her that day in Tampa. They were playing/singing on the field, but the mics were all dead. What you heard in the stadium and on TV was recorded. Great song? Absolutely. Great performance? Nope.
1. After all these years, I still don’t get how artists like Adele talk annoyingly British yet sing perfectly Americanish. Seriously, when she talks I can’t help but envision an exaggerated, high-pitched old washwoman from a Monty Python skit. Adele’s singing voice = Angel. Adele’s talking voice = Julia Child.