March Madness In Vegas: My Top 10 CBS Contemplations
10. You know, I really think I could make it as a professional gambler living in Las Vegas. Problem is I’d spend all my income on good wine and bad women before the sun came up. And then have to do it all over again the next day. Anyone want to bankroll my experiment?
9. On my way to Vegas last Thursday night our plane was diverted to Phoenix because of high winds in the desert. Pilot said he was fearful of microbursts of up to 85 mph and the whole airport was shut down for two hours. Not a soul complained. Once I got to Vegas I had to wait outside for a taxi in 44-degree weather with 40 mph wind. Freeeeezing.
8. After the weekend I can attest to two things about R.J. Choppy: Not bad at blackjack. Horrible at beer pong.
7. If you enjoy gambling and girls, I suggest the blackjack tables at the MGM around 8 on a Saturday night. The huge walkway leading to Studio 54 and Tabu is overflowing with women dressed in heels and the works to go clubbing. If you can keep your seat until around 1 a.m., the sight of the same girls trudging back to their rooms barefoot and drunk is priceless.
6. At Tabu a girl approached me, then motioned me close to, apparently, tell me something. But when I bent down she began licking, then nibbling and finally biting my neck and ear. When I pulled away, she didn’t, latching on to my earring and pulling the ball out of my loop. She then skipped away, obviously high on Ecstasy.
5. I went 8-0 on college basketball bets. Before you get too impressed know that they weren’t against the spread, but were money-line wagers. If you got a decent bankroll and big balls, it’s the way to go. Pick a team to win a game, no spread. Just win. I won on Northeastern, Georgia State, Dayton, Syracuse, South Alabama, Kansas, Nevada and Creighton. In the Syracuse game, for example, I had to risk $800 to win $200. Total winnings of around $3,000 with minimal stress, other than Creighton’s survival in overtime Sunday.
4. There was actually wagering available on baseball Spring Training games. That’s when you know you’re sick. And, yes, I was tempted.
3. Instead of flying, I rented a car and made the drive from Vegas to Surprise, Arizona. Almost immediately I stopped off at Hoover Dam, and walked out onto the Pat Tillman Memorial Bridge overlooking the monstrosity. The drive was unbelievably bland, with nothing but desert and eternally straight highway for most of Arizona. It did get a little interesting though, when on two-lane U.S. 93 I was continually met with speeding NASCAR haulers heading the opposite direction. Including my pit stop travel time was 5 hours.
2. I placed $10 futures bets on the Cowboys to win the Super Bowl (20-1), Rangers to win the World Series (8-1) and the Mavericks to win the NBA Finals (12-1). You think I hold a winning ticket?
1. And then these two girls in microscopic black party dresses came up to us, kicked off their shoes, flipped their hair and … Sorry, (most of) what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
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