Yes, I’ll admit, this is a direct offshoot of Richie Whitt’s weekly wrap-up on Sportatorium. It’s my opinions and style, though, so grab a coffee/beer/joint and let’s go reading!
*What’s with the water in the Rangers’ clubhouse? In mid-May, Ian Kinsler had a stomach virus, 10 days ago Derek Holland came down with a bug, and today Josh Hamilton is hospitalized with an intestinal virus. Sounds like they need to partner up with Pepto Bismol like George Steinbrenner did back in the 80s.
*All week long, we’ve been getting Cowboys players to read excerpts from the romance novel 50 Shades of Grey. Running back Phillip Tanner proved he has a fantastic sense of humor by flipping to page 34 (appropriately) and reading aloud. He also told me he thought I was black before he met me in person. Then the next day, Jasmine from New School got more golden audio from him when she had him sing Britney Spears karaoke. We love ya, Big Phil, but don’t quit your day job.
*Ladies, if you’re married to an IT Computer Guy, you better keep an eye on him. According to AshleyMadison.com, men in that field are most likely to cheat. Unfortunately, it’s not with virtual women, it’s with real ones.
*In the off-season, Mavs are staying busy. Shawn Marion flew to Las Vegas…to attend his niece’s graduation. The Tall Baller from the G will be an official “scarfer” at an FC Dallas game next weekend. What’s that, you ask? It’s the very important duty of hanging a scarf on a statue. Yes, really.
*Which is a better strip club song: “Make It Rain” by Travis Porter, “Drop That” by Iggy Azalea, or “Lap Dance” by N.E.R.D.?
*Lindsay Lohan being found unconscious in her hotel room at the Ritz-Carlton in Marina del Rey is hardly shocking. The shocker is that she didn’t OD. Her reps are blaming it on “extreme exhaustion” and “slight dehydration”. I’ve got her at the top of my death pool. You?
*Our RAGE Rescue this week is Lucy, a playful 60-lb. Shepherd/Lab mix. Please help her find a home.
*Speaking of dogs, there’s good news regarding the Justice case. In addition to Darius Ewing who was the initial suspect in the investigation, three more arrests have been made. Dallas Police have charged Adrian Ayers, Darius Carey and Richard Valentine with Cruelty to Animals: Torture which is a felony. If found guilty, I hope these guys are set on fire while a group of people laugh at their demise. I’ll bring the matches.
*I’m having an issue with my housecleaning service. They came for a routine cleaning last Wednesday. Normally, they leave the key under the mat when they’re finished, but this time they decided to make it vanish into thin air. Like magic. After two emails, four phone calls and one house visit later, they have decided to
pay to have my locks changed give me a free cleaning offer a discount on my next service. So now I have to trust them with my key again. Should I be worried?
*A couple days ago, the Twitter accounts (and pants) of dudes exploded with a supposed Kim Kardashian picture that “Kanye West had leaked”. Turns out, the butt actually belongs to an adult actress named Amia Miley. And rumor has it, she’s slept with fewer guys than Kim.
*This week, Greggo let me take the 5:30 steering wheel and create a Top 20 list. So, I ranked my Favorite Local News Personalities. Tim Ryan from Good Day on Fox 4 won. Care to see the rest? Head to the RAGE Facebook page.
*Happy Fathers’ Day to all you dads out there! If you need a last-minute gift, there are a few options this weekend: Fathers’ Day on the Field at Cowboys Stadium, Dollar Day at Lone Star Park, or free BBQ aprons for Sunday’s Silver Boot game 3 at the Ballpark. If nothing else, just get him these.
*Party on, make babies, and embrace your weekend RAGE.