Whether you’ve reached the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt’s End:
*Cowboys’ trade for backup offensive lineman Ryan Cook is a major indictment of 2011 4th-round draft pick David Arkin. Team doesn’t trust his snaps and he got manhandled all during camp and pre-season games. Cook isn’t sexy, more like an emergency stop-gap. At 29, he’s started 40 games for Vikings and Dolphins at center and guard. Upgrade over Arkin, not much else.
*I know Josh Hamilton gets most of the glory. But the best Ranger is Adrian Beltre. The most fun to watch is Elvis Andrus. And the one we most trust is Joe Nathan.
*Joe Philbin is as boring as a cardboard cutout of a piece of white bread with the crust cut off. But the coach isn’t the only reason the Dolphins will suck this year. Quarterback Ryan Tannehill, born and raised in Texas and who played at A&M, admits to not having a clue about the NFL’s divisional alignments, nor which teams plays in what conference. Asked about the NFC East, Tannehill’s first guess was “Chiefs.” And he thought the Giants were in the NFC North. Troubling, to say the least. Aggie.
*Clint Eastwood talked trash to an empty chair last night. That’s the best the Grand Ol’ Party can do? Embarrassing.
*Even if Stephen McGee makes the Cowboys’ final 53, it won’t be for long. His contract is up after the season and he’s got zero long-term future in Dallas.
*“My name is Lance Armstrong. I am a cancer survivor,” he said to open his speech to the World Cancer Congress in Montreal this week. “I’m a father of five. And yes, I won the Tour de France seven times.” Boom.
*The Brewers have 24 blown saves this season. Your Rangers have just 6, 3 of those by Alexi Ogando.
*Frank Caliendo is out on Fox’s NFL Sunday pre-game show. His replacement: Rob Riggle. Yawn.
*To escalate the hype of Michigan-Alabama at Cowboys Stadium Saturday night Jerry Jones will be on ESPN’s College Gameday tomorrow morning.
*I know the NFL replacement refs have had some comical mistakes, but nobody’s perfect. Evidenced last night when Vanderbilt was ripped off in its season-opening loss to No. 9 South Carolina. On the key 4th down in the final 2 minutes, a ‘Cock cornerback visibly grabbed the arm of a Commodores’ receiver at South Carolina’s 20. No call. Vandy loses. Where’s the clamoring for better refs?
*Andy Roddick shocks the tennis world by announcing his retirement after this U.S. Open. He’s 1 of only 6 Americans to ever be ranked No. 1 and the last American man to win a major. Figured his win at ’03 U.S. Open was only his first, not his last.
*Like him or not, Tony Romo’s new Starter commercial is badass. He basically admits to everything his critics say, and promises to correct those mistakes. What more can you ask?
*Neil Armstrong’s funeral is today. There will be a full moon tonight. Can’t make up that kind of symmetry.
*Something I learned right away from the first night of college football: Kickoffs moved up from the 30 to 35 this year and touchbacks brought out to the 25 instead of the 20. Bottom line: It’s easier for kickers to boot the ball into the end zone, but the consequences for doing so are more penal. Weird.
*Like rivers beginning as a merely a trickle, hurricanes are born as tropical depressions. When they’re named, they are usually 35mph-storms off the coast of Africa. Why can’t we – at that point in their embryonic existence – drop a bomb to disrupt the organizing air that otherwise will grow into hurricane monsters that damage property and kill humans?
*The world’s biggest pre-game show starts Tuesday at Noon on 105.3 The Fan. That’s 31.5 hours of live Cowboys-Giants radio leading up to the 7:30 kickoff Wednesday night. Enjoy.
*My 5 all-time greatest football teams (pro or college): 1. ’85 Bears; 2. ’95 Nebraska; 3. ’62 Packers; 4. ’72 USC; 5. ’71 Nebraska.
*Spotted, alive if not well: The Longhorn Network. It now exists as Channel 1609 on AT&T U-Verse, whatever that is.
*Scary thought: The Cowboys’ 5-man starting offensive line will have had five practices together when on Wednesday night they attempt to block a Giants’ pass rush of Jason Pierre-Paul, Justin Tuck, Osi Umenyiora, etc. Yikes.
*In case you missed it, my column opining why the “Dez Rules” are all bark with zero bite.
*This weekend? Let’s kick off Labor Day Weekend with a beach party at Sandbar Cantina in Deep Ellum today. Saturday it’s tennis in the morning and college football at night. Sunday? Last one before we’re consumed by the NFL through January. Don’t be a stranger.
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