CBS 11 Header TXA 21 Header MeTV Header KRLD Header The Fan Header

Tale of the tape

Andre Johnson Vs. Santa Claus – How Does He Match Up To St. Nick?

Fantasy wunderkind and all-around decent guy Andre Johnson just did something pretty nifty. He purchased over $17,000 worth of toys for children in Child Protective Services. It’s an awfully kind gesture, especially during the holiday season. But how does Johnson stack up against the ultimate gift giver, Santa Claus? Let’s go to the tape:

(credit: Scott Halleran/Getty Images) (credit: Kena Betancur/Getty Images)
(credit: Scott Halleran/Getty Images) (credit: Kena Betancur/Getty Images)

Andre Johnson

Santa Claus

4.41 Seconds 40 Time? I mean...one estimate has St. Nick traveling at roughly 5.6 million miles per hour (in order to deliver all those presents) so...whatever 40 yards of that is. A blink, essentially.
A svelte 227 pounds. Weight? Probably more than that.
5 this year (really? That feels low). 61 overall (that too). Receiving TDs this year? None?
$17,352 Estimated value of Presents Millions and millions
Yep! Is he real? Who’s asking? Where are your parents?
...I’M GONNA BE RICH! Reaction to seeing mommy kissing him? Set it to a song!
Stranger! I’m calling the police right now. Reaction when you hear him “Up on a rooftop, click-click-click”ing? Weeeeeeee! Presents!

The winner is

(credit: Scott Halleran/Getty Images)
Andre Johnson
4 out of 7

So there you have it. After a hard-fought battle of joyful giving, Andre Johnson takes the round 3-2! And rightly so. What a terrific fella.
-Brian Cullen, CBS Local Sports contributor

More Tales of the tape

  1. (credit: Jamie Squire/Getty Images) (credit: Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)
    National Championship Matchup: #8 Kentucky Vs. #7 Connecticut

    No. 8-seeded Kentucky stunned No. 2-seeded Michigan in the Elite Eight and shut down Wisconsin’s Frank Kaminsky and the Badgers offense in the Final Four.

  2. (credit: Jeff Zelevansky/Getty Images) (credit: Jeff Zelevansky/Getty Images)
    Can’t Decide Between Seattle-Denver? Here’s Who You Should Root For

    Suppose you’re a casual fan. Who do you root for this year – Denver, or Seattle?

  3. (credit: Jeff Zelevansky/Getty Images) (credit: Andrew Burton/Getty Images)
    New Jersey Vs. New York: Who Really ‘Owns’ Super Bowl XLVIII?

    With the Super Bowl coming to town, it’s cause for some friction between the states. But we wonder, who does this Super Bowl really belong to – New York or New Jersey?

See all Tales of the Tape