DALLAS (105.3 THE FAN) I’m proud to launch the official release of the new name of my blog today, being my “Jock Itch!”

So with no further ado, leading off my “Jock Itch” for Today: Tampa Bays slugger, Manny Ramirez told Major League Baseball on Friday that he’s decided to retire after being notified of a little “issue” that arose under the league’s drug policy! The issue? How about the fact that Manny tested positive for a performance enhancing drug DURING spring training! He’s already served a 50-game suspension for violating the drug policy while he was with the Dodgers. A SECOND positive test under the program results in a 100-game suspension, with a third test resulting in a lifetime ban. So instead of taking the suspension, Manny decided to retire, pull the “God” card and play “Around the World in 80 Days” with his pops. He says, “I’m at ease. God knows what’s best [for me]. I’m now an officially retired baseball player. I’ll be going away on a trip to Spain with my old man.” I’m sure the $2 million dollar one-year contract he just signed with Tampa Bay will help pay for his international jaunt.

http://benmaller.com/2011/04/manny-ramirez-going-on-vacation/

And in OTHER “itch” worthy news…

Nationals’ boy wonder Stephen Strasburg’s daddy didn’t like what one Washington broadcaster, Rob Dibble, was saying about him, so he made sure he lost his job!

Apparently, Daddy Strasburg didn’t like Dibble’s criticism of his son in August of last season and was pretty upset about it! That’s when he e-mailed the owner and the owner went to Dibble and said to take a hike!

Dibble was replaced by another guy named, F.P. Santangelo for the Nationals TV broadcasts this year. Santangelo, you’ve been forewarned… http://benmaller.com/2011/04/mlb-stars-daddy-cost-broadcaster-his-job/

For all of you Tom Brady lovers out there, tomorrow night is the debut of “The Brady 6!” It’s an ESPN documentary that will basically take a look at how Tom became a legend when drafted 183RD OVERALL after Chad Pennington, Giovanni Carmazzi, Chris Redman, Tee Martin, Marc Bulger, and Spergon Wynn. Shake that fabulous hair back and forth, Tom. You deserve it, big guy… http://benmaller.com/2011/04/tom-bradys-story-coming-to-documentary/

So rumor has it that Brett Favre is going to continue annoying us with all of his antics YET AGAIN, as he may not be officially retiring anymore.

Yes. You guessed it. He may be coming back to play AGAIN. But, the joke may sorta be on him this time because one of the teams he MAY be sent to is the Buffalo Bills.

At 41, he could land as a package deal with the team that drafts Cam Newton, since they share the same agent, Bus Cook. Anyway, the Buffalo Bills and the Arizona Cardinals are the teams expected to be interested. Enough already… http://benmaller.com/2011/04/brett-favre-to-the-bills-or-cards/

Speaking of Brett, the woman who he left several racy voice mail messages and sent pretty embarrassing junk shots via text to, has finally agreed to a two-part sit down with ABC’s “Good Morning America” with a HUGE catch.

In exchange for her side of the story for the first time, she was promised a TV gig by ABC. Of course, the network has denied that, but little Jenn has been looking for work for months and has found nobody willing to hire her.

Maybe she should resurrect her career as an FSU Cowgirl to make ends meet. I’m SURE she has her “hey y’all!” cut-off denims hanging around SOMEwhere…http://benmaller.com/2011/04/jenn-sterger-to-tell-brett-favre-story-on-tv/

A guy with no legs wants his shot at the NFL! (Insert Eminem’s “Lose Yourself” within any moment of this story for your personal enhancement.)

He’s 23-year-old Bobby Martin and he was born with a rare condition that makes his body stop at his pelvis. But, it hasn’t stopped him from landing a place on his college team in Ohio.

The defensive ace uses a skateboard to get around and says that he’s trying to convince the NFL that being low helps him deliver crunching tackles! He said: “To hit well in the tackle you have to be low and how can you get lower than me. My arms are like my legs, so they are very strong. My size helps me with my football skills. “It is another way that I turn my size to my advantage.”

FYI: He’s walked on his hands since the age of two.

And in case you were wondering, Bobby, who lives at home with his mamma, says his condition hasn’t stopped him from being a huge hit with the ladies. “The ladies love me. They say I am handsome and I always try to smell good for them. I am a big old flirt and I tell them what they want to hear. I have had over 25 girlfriends to date.” See guys… size DOESN’T matter… http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/features/3514669/NFL-bid-of-player-with-no-legs.html

LeBron must be SO proud of his mamma. Now, there’s some video of Gloria James in handcuffs in a holding room at the Miami Beach Police Department. (Of course, this was after she was taken into custody for basically pimp-slapping a valet guy at Fountainbleu after it took “too long” for them to bring her SUV around, all the while, wreaking of alcohol.)

During 10 minutes of video, Queen James went from turning her back on the arresting officer to appearing talkative and agitated. The officer actually had to wipe her face because she wasn’t able to. At one point, she even played the “don’t you know who I AM!??!” card and apparently tried to get out of the handcuffs.

On top of ALL of this, the 911 call was released and Gloria was actually mistaken for a MAN! The 911 dispatcher asked the caller, “Was it a male?” To which the caller answered: “Yes, I think two males were involved.”

Ouch.

As if those factors weren’t already enough in this story, it looks like LeBron ordered a Miami Heat exec to bail his mamma out! Steve Stowe went and got Gloria and she was issued a “Promise to Appear in Court” on charges of simple battery and disorderly conduct. LeBron said that “It’s a sensitive subject” and that “it’s being taken care of.” FYI: Gloria James pleaded no contest to DUI and other charges back in 2006.

To see some of the video of Gloria being held by the Miami Beach po-po’s, click here http://sports.nationalpost.com/2011/04/07/lebron-sent-a-heat-exec-to-bail-his-mother-out-of-jail/

And finally…

The numbers don’t lie and it looks like people would rather watch a bunch of knocked up teenagers over ladies NCAA hoops.

Umm… DUH? I think most of America would rather watch ANYTHING over ladies college basketball. (Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for Women’s Suffrage, Women’s rights, and burning your bras in solidarity, but Even LADIES will attest to that.)

Anyway, “TV BY THE NUMBERS” reports that the MTV “Teen Mom” special (Which, yes I watched as well, as it’s one of my secret embarrassing addictions) beat the Women’s NCAA basketball championship in the TV ratings Tuesday night. There’s always next year, “ladies!” err… I mean ladies…. http://benmaller.com/2011/04/teen-mom-beats-ncaa-womens-championship-game/

And THAT’S  my “Jock Itch!”

J